RSS

Mountain Dew: GAME FUEL and Soda Throwbacks!

If you recall last summer, Pepsi released a line of Mountain Dews that were only to be released in the season. Only one of these three flavors lasted (Voltage, the one I only kind of liked). The trio kind of symbolized Summer '08 in a way for me, as it was something I always looked forward to drinking every night.

So you can guess what my excitement level was when I found out they were tossing out some new Mountain Dews to kick off Summer '09 - The new Game Fuel duo. These sodas are closely promoted with World of Warcraft, much like Code Orange Sierra Mist was last year alongside Get Smart. Each flavor is supposed to show your "siding" towards which Warcraft race you slide towards - the Horde or the Alliance.

Luckily, I'm not a nerd. I take no sides. I just drink to drink the drink.


Quite frankly, I'll just say I was a little disappointed. Only one of the Dews is new, and there aren't three like last summer. But hey, nobody said they were making a tradition out of these Mountain Dew releases.

Do you still want to try these out? Well, for the sake of PURE SCIENCE, and based SOLELY off the will to serve YOU, my fanbase, I taste-tested both.


First is the Red Game Fuel. In 2007, this stuff was packaged as Halo Game Fuel to conincide with the release of Halo 3 on the Xbox 360. It was met with mixed reviews, because many said it was way too sweet or just plain gross. The concotion is listed as "a blast of citrus cherry flavor."


To my tastes at least, it wasn't bad, but it doesn't taste much like cherry. You taste the citrus alright, but a lot of the problem with the flavor identity crisis is the fact that there is WAY too much sugar in this drink. I know, I know, Mountain Dew already contains a huge amount of the stuff, but this soda has even more.

If you don't mind overly sweet and sticky liquid, try this one out. Its not bad, but it isn't something that will make you run to the liquor store to pick-up.


Next, is Blue Game Fuel. This flavor is entirely new and is supposed to taste like "wild fruit flavor." As far as I could sense from Internet ramblings, this one was the better of the bunch, much to my liking.

Before I get into how the pop tastes, let me begin with a little story. When I decided to drink the Blue Game Fuel, I thought it would be a little more classy to pour it into a red paper cup with ice unlike the previous Game Fuel. I proceded my regular routine as usual until only a few hours later. I got up to use the bathroom, and while looking at my regularly beautiful face in the mirror, I see something that is off. What could possibly make you LESS beautiful, you ask?

MY LIPS WERE BLUE.

They weren't the color you get when you're cold. They were'nt just pale. My lips were DARK BLUE. Sorry that I don't have pictures.

When I noticed this, I licked my lips hoping to maybe wash the coloring off. I even tried swashing toothpaste over them. But, low and behold, nothing.

Long story short, my last result to get this color from contaminating my perfect mouth was to PEEL the skin off. I litterally pulled all of the skin off of my lips.

The lesson of the story is this: There is probably two gallons of blue dye in this Mountain Dew. Once I had to go through this painful endeavour, I returned to my spot in the living room to find that the inside my empty cup that I was drinking the toxic from was, indeed, dyed blue. If that doesn't give you any idea of what color this is, you're beyond repair.


But, like others had thought, the Blue Game Fuel was definitely better than the former. No, I still could not taste the "tropical fruit" flavor due to the sugar amount, but the sugar amount in this one had a certain taste about it that benefitted it positively. If you're going to pick up one Game Fuel and one Game Fuel only, make it the Blue one.

But here's a tip: Don't drink it out of a big-grip glass or cup. Unless you enjoy dye all over your facial features.

Also, before we part our ways for the day, there is one more thing I wish to share with you guys that I forgot to do months ago - Pepsi and Mountain Dew Throwbacks.

These sodas were advertised as returning the formulas to their roots by using 100% pure cane sugar. The most eye catching appeal to these bottles and cans are their use of the original Pepsi and Mountain Dew logos from the olden' days.

Here's my quick thoughts on them:


Pepsi Throwback tasted a lot like Diet Pepsi for some reason, but it was very different from regular, 2009 Pepsi. It tasted "fresher," lacking words to describe it. Pepsi isn't my cola of choice, but I thought this one wasn't half bad.


Mountain Dew Throwback is another story. I just didn't like it. It was like Mountain Dew but without any flavor. And no, I don't mean there was so much sugar in it that it blocked the taste like I mentioned in my reviews above, but it just didn't include an pizazz. Maybe I picked up a stale stray? Who knows, but I just thought 'whatever.'

Well, there ya go. Have a nice drive home.
(Also, I am still adding changes here and there to the layout, so keep coming back if you want to check in what's going on ;])

CD Albums!

For the past three days, I've been trapped at home with almost virtually nothing entertaining to do. I mean, there's always the option of watching movies or playing video games or something, but I'm sure a lot of people, including me, would rather waste their time productively.

So, I gave into this Internet kind-of phenomenon that has been sweeping forums and a certain imageboard for a while now. The idea is by following these steps and using what comes up, you make a CD album cover. This is what you do:

1) Go to Wikipedia and click on 'Random Article.' Whatever the title of the page is (unless it is a band's entry) will be the name of the album's band.
2) Go to Wikiquote and click on 'Random Page' as well. Choose any quote that comes on the page, but you may only use the last 3-6 words in the quote. Whatever words you find will be the name of your band's album.
3) Go to flickr and choose '[whatever amount] uploads in the last minute.' Choose the fifth picture to come up. Whatever this is, will be the album art for the cover.
4) Open up Photoshop and start constructing. You may not add any other pieces of artwork, but you are free to choose how much of the image is visible and what fonts/colors to use.
5) ???
6) PROFIT!

So these are what I came up with. I thought I'd share.

Eye on Psi Chi
"Between Men & Women"

This one worked totally perfectly.


Wojiech Belon
"Farther Into Imbecily"

This one worked too. Nice elephant.

Oligostigmoides
"Composing Is Not Voluntary, You Know."

Isn't it illegal to put a famous musician on another musician's album without consent?

Interpersonal Ties
"I Don't Give A Fuck!"

I imagine this as some screamo highschoolers' attempt at a punk album. I don't like the cover that much either.

Mountain High
"Take It From Me!"

This was the first one I made. I like it - just wish I saved it as a bigger picture.

Trinidad Zaachila
"There's A Million Things Down There!"

I thought this one looked the most professional even if I was too lazy to straighten all of the letters.


So, uh, ta da.

Back into being a hermit.

The King of Pop.

Unless you've been playing Starcraft in your mom's basement without stop this week, you should know this has been probably the worst week for celebrities in the history of forever. The world is now without a comedy legend, a TV crime fighter, an infomercial shouter, and possibly the best thing to happen to music since The Beatles. Besides Disney Channel stars, of course.


I kind of just wanted to post this to write about how much of a bummer it is that Michael Jackson died. I was really hoping he would make a proper comeback with the This Is It concerts. He was even scheduled to make a new CD and a movie based off of Thriller! For those of you who weren't old enough to remember MJ other than his court charges a few years back, he was, but not limited to, popularizing the music video as a form of publicity, becoming the first black artist to appear on MTV, part of what is considered to be the first American "boy band," holding the highest selling record in the world, and, of course, was the creator of many household trends, such as orange jackets and the Moonwalk.

But what I think bums me the most, though, is the observation that a lot of people are going to remember him purely for his allegations of being a child molester and a plastic surgeon addict - and all of it based on ignorance. The reason I say "ignorance" is because, come on - you and I both know that if you are someone with such an opinion on the guy, you probably didn't bother looking for the evidence yourself. Just looking at Michael Jackson at a glance, or listening to what we hear on the news is not a great way to judge a guy. It really makes me sad that we're a nation based off "don't judge a book by its cover," when in fact we do it every night while watching TMZ or reading the tabloids on the net.

Michael Jackson's look changed completely by the start of the 21st century

For the sake of boring whoever is reading this, I'll try to only cover a few points.

First of all, the molestation cases are extremely flawed. The first time Michael Jackson was accused, all sorts of things seemed fishy from the get-go. First, the thirteen year old that was reported of being abused never showed up to the trials - not even to sit on behalf of himself. Everything that was said about Michael Jackson didn't even come from the kid to begin with. His dad did literally all of the talking. And to make matters even worse, the court found a recorded conversation between the father and an anonomyous submitter which revealed how dedicated the accuser was to bring down MJ's career. The consensus of this message reveals that the dad not only held a grudge against the singer, but was jealous Michael's friendship with his son. Yet, Jackson decided not to fight the case any longer and instead agreed to just pay the family $22 million.

Most of you are thinking: If Jackson was innocent, why did he pay the money? Why wouldn't he just agree to fight this in court?

Think about it. Its a lose-lose situation any way you think about it. If he were to just give up and throw the family a couple of bones, all of this would end and further prevent the negative image this whole case provided. If he were to continue to fight, however, what do you think the public would say? When celebrities get in legal trouble and decide to bring the case down, they only hire the highest of status for a legal team. The media would then likely provide a story along the lines of, "Jackson is so defensive of this case that he hired the best of the best in lawyers, who know how to convince even the falsest of cases!" That would ALSO ruin his image. So, whichever decision he would choose, would cause you to think he was the bad guy.

And it also doesn't help that the second time he was in court that a majority of the parents who initially accused Michael Jackson of molestation came forward years later and said they were in it for the money as well. EVEN THE KID WHO WAS INVOLVED WITH THE FIRST CASE ADMITTED TO LYING ABOUT MOLESTATION ONCE JACKSON WAS DEAD. But, of course, many people didn't hear (or care) about that.

Michael's skin color before 1986

Second, there's the whole issue with Michael's skin. Countless people reported of how "only in America could a black man die a white woman." It is true that MJ did have a plastic surgery obsession with reforming his nose and chin, but the whole idea of bleaching his skin is incredibly unlikely.

How is this idea debunked? Think about this one too. Why would he want to bleach his skin in the first place? To gain attention? He wouldn't need any more of it, as his condition began occuring at the heigh of his popularity in 1986. In fact, popularity seemed to be the last thing Michael wanted - he even wrote a song called "Leave Me Alone" directed towards the press.

Okay, now that that's out of the way, why wouldn't he just want to "transform" his African-American image along with his other cosmetic changes? This appears to be super unlikely. Don't forget that Michael Jackson was one of the only black entertainers to gain so much success as a black man to begin with. Not only that, but he wrote songs about equality between races and has demonstrated through interviews that he had "a lot of pride and dignity" towards being of African descent. Now, why would he bleach his skin? That's like claiming Martin Luther King Jr. wanted to change into a white man AFTER he started his protests. See how much sense this makes?

Plus, have you EVER, in your life, heard ANYTHING about somebody bleaching their skin? How do you impose this would happen to begin with?

Truth is, Michael Jackson had a conditional disease called vitiligo, a problem that kills pigmentation cells in the skin. It occurs in both black and white people, and a number of famous people have it. You can Google up vitiligo and see pictures if you like, and you'll see that's how Michael Jackson did in fact look. Its speculated that the reason Michael also wore a lot of make up in his later years was because of the disease, which can cause lighter "spots" anywhere over his body and he wanted to even out his skin tone.

Well, that's all I feel like explaining. Even though I believe that the above thoughts were easily provable as false, I do think that Michael Jackson had psychological problems. I really think that he was stuck in childhood throughout his adult life, which is why he had a fascination with providing other kids a better life than he had (MJ was heavily abused as a child during the time he was in the Jackson 5). He also admitted that he became obsessed with his nose, as he was teased by his father about it. Another thing that seems true is his addiction to painkillers. Its reported he became addicted to them after his first court cases, and his parents wanted him to go to rehab for the problem. He never did, and although its still up in the air, it might have been what killed him.


Although there's a lot of criticism surrounding him, Michael Jackson is still undoubtedly one of the biggest names in music history. I just hope that he is remembered for his achievements rather than the bad... even though, you know, he showed us WHO'S BAD. (that was horrible.)

If you need some catching up to do, here are some of his best music videos that, if you haven't seen, you need to watch before you die.





Welcome to the Jlog 2.0.

Yes! The day has come!

To commemorate the second summer of the Jlog being available to your eye holes, I present to you the JLOG 2.0.

Well, it may not be THAT epic, but there's a new layout thats easier to read and stuff. I spent a couple days working on this basically from scratch, so YOU BETTER APPRECIATE IT MONKEYS.

In the top left corner, you'll notice a little "Beta" sign as well. It's there because I'm going to be making sure things look smoother and nicer for the next couple days or even weeks. We'll see how long it takes until I like it! Expect changes or things to go wonky while the sign is up.

So. Now that I finally finished the new look, I'll have time for some articles in the distant future. Keep your ears (and eyes) open!

Happy 1st Jlogiversary.

Hey, kids. Did you know that one year ago today, the Jlog was born? Well, it was, and since then (but not so much right now) it has inspired countless hundreds to think about pointless and useless things that I find necessary to blog about. I remember like it was just yesterday...

Back in May of '08, I was but a wimpy Freshman in an English class. I had always thought about making a blog to chronicle whatever awesome things I feel like speaking or telling the uneducated about, but I never had the encouragement to start one. That is, until one day, my English teacher started to make us enter in our homework assignments on a school-run blogging system. Although that was for the most part unrelated, it just set off the spark for me wanting to write about things in my spare time. And thus, on the 24th of May, The Jlog was born, in all its lined paper and stick figured glory. So, Mrs. Gonzalez, if you're reading this somewhere, you're partly to blame for this blog. You should feel special.

Anywho. I made a birthday cupcake.


To help celebrate this huge monument in American history, I've decided to round-up the best Jlog postings over the year in my eyes. Enjoy this blast from the past!

- Vault - Its like Jesus in a glass! (May 24 2008) - This is the first article that started it all.
- New Mountain Dew is SUPERCOOL (May 28 2008) - My first brand new soda review, which has stood place in my memory for writing. Whenever I think of it, I think of Summer. I almost literally drowned myself in Mountain Dew this summer.
- STICKREVIEW: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (May 28 2008) - My first and only "StickReview!" This Jlog lead me to be stuck in a dark room on PhotoShop for about 4 hours. No joke.
- SCHOOOOOOOOOOL'S OUUUUT (June 13 2008) - This is so unstructured that its awesome. That is all. Also, it signifys my FIRST SUMMER serving you, the reader. Or something.
- I Hate Can Openers with a Vengence. (June 18 2008) - The most widely talked about joke between my friends, family, and I once Summer was over. Good times be had that day!
- ROBOT BEARS :O (June 30 2008) - An example of how bored I got after only 17 days of Summer.
- Sit Right There, I'll tell you all about how Will Smith became the BEST GUY EVER... of Bel-Air? (July 2 2008) - A full-ledged story that I got bored with half-way through!
- Soda Jelly Beans STICKREVIEW! (July 21 2008) - Just kidding, I lied. My second StickReview. I especially love the sick drawings of Jelly Bellys I did.
- Burger King Potato Chips! (August 3 2008) - First Jlog with an accompanying video! But man, those chips gave off the grossest smell on my desk for like two days. I did it all in the name of you guys, too.
- Halloween 08: Grow Your Own Goblin. (October 12 2008) - You should've seen how many people thought I was the devil for naming that goblin Zombie Bernie Mac.
- The 1st Annual Josh Awe-Inspiring Overwhelming Magnificent Spectacularly Spectacular Awesome Awards. Of 2008. (January 3 2009) - The most hit counts on any Jlog to date! Also, the one I'm least proud of!


And for those wondering when I'll be returning to a semi-scheduled basis for Jlogs, let this be the first formal announcement - I am going to start writing again. I've had no time with my busy, busy life in the past couple months, and that also doesn't set in well with my easily procrastinated creativity banks. But, if I could do it last May 24 all the way until August, why can't I do it again?

It may not be on as large of a scale as last summer, but I will sincerely try. I've got some nice articles under my sleeve, perhaps one coming as early as this week...

So, until next time, stay classy San Diego. Also, because I know its relevant to your interests, it smells STRONGLY of ass in this room that I am in right now.

(P.S. I know, I'm still renovating the layout, that's priority number one right now!)

Return of the King.

And by that I mean two things:

1) ME.
2) The subject of tonight's post.

You should know by now how lazy and unproductive I get for the three out of four seasons of the year, and the moment Summer starts it all just explodes into a post-a-day brilliance you saw last Summer. Or you didn't, because you probably didn't read it. But seriously, you shouldn't just go take a look-see at the old writin's. They're, like, ew. No pictures. But yeah, I'm redesigning the blog so thats why everything has been in shambles. And as for the lack of content... no excuses, I'm a horrible person, yada yada yada.

Anyways! I've brought you here tonight to discuss something that just CAN NOT be ignored. If aliens were to land on the planet Earth with chocolate cake, I don't think this occurence could ailenate the one I'm about to talk about. This is so catastrophically big that even the rebirth of Jesus couldn't take the spotlight (sorry Jesus, we still cool right?).

What, am I talking about you ask?

It's the return...
of...

SHAMROCK SHAKES AT MCDONALD'S.


YEAH, I SAID IT.

SHAMROCK FREAKING SHAKES.



You don't even know how excited I was when I found these again. I was walking down the street with some people when one of my friends threw out in a monotone voice "Hey, I guess the Shamrock Shake's back." I know now how completely retarded I must have looked, but I honestly just stopped. And stared across the street at McDonald's. And held my mouth open unconsciously. And then some other things happened too. But I'm pretty sure my mind exploded.

Back in the late '90s I would go to McDonald's almost every day in March JUST for the festive Shamrock Shake. I was crazy about these things. I think I loved them more than life itself. Well, maybe that's not true, but it certainly did make St. Patrick's Day special for me and my friends around then.

So, if you've been living under an anti-awesome-things rock for the past 30 years, here's a little history lesson for you.


You might have thought the 1980s were all about heavy mousse usage, time traveling, pink tuxedos, and Duran Duran, but little did you know that, along with New Coke, the Shamrock Shake was the most long-lasting and greatest invention to come out of the period. McDonald's felt they weren't already subliminally brain washing kids through advertising enough, so they started producing commercials starring McDonaldland's Grimace and his very own uncle, Uncle O'Grimace, telling kids to celebrate Saint Patty's by drinking green milkshakes. Creative, isn't it? I guess they thought celebrating a special milkshake for Black History Month featuring Lil' Grimma would have been too controversial.

Anyways, the public still ate it up (wow, two puns in one post!), so much in fact that they added it to their seasonal dessert menu. One year, McDonald's even added a Shamrock Sundae to the roster. And well, its needless to say Ronald and the Hamburgler took a couple vacations with all the money they so shamelessly took. So, remember this, young business models: desserts based on racial profiling earns you tons of money!

According to McDonald's, Irish people are green

But, sadly, those days are gone. McDonald's have moved on to bigger and easier-money-related things. Shamrock Shakes were discontinued since at least 2000, when they began phasing them out. And even before that, Uncle O'Grimmacy stopped molesting little kids' minds in the late '90s.

It was a devastating blow to the millions of customers around the world. I mean, just look at what has happened since McDonald's discontinued the beloved shake. 9/11 occured. Hurricane Katrina swamped up houses. Even Nickelback became a best-seller. I believe Bush only started to become a sad president thanks to his quench for a Shamrock Shake through the years as well.

But, those days are over. We have OBAMA NOW. And I guess electing an African American president has already shown its effect on the world: McDonald's finally resurrected the Shamrock Shake. Hallelujah! 2009 is the best year in like the history of the WORLD.


So, what is a Shamrock Shake basically? All it is is a mint flavored milkshake. That's GREEN. Like, REALLY green.

Yeah. That's all it is.

"But wait a second, bucko!" you cry out from your spinny office chair. "I can get mint milkshakes anywhere! Why is one being sold by a clown any different?"

Well, that's exactly what I thought when I retried the Shamrock Shake for the first time in around 10 years. The moment I took my first sip, I realized it tasted EXACTLY the same as how I remembered it, and that taste... is pretty okay. I mean, its just mint. But for some reason you just can not forget or deny how good the shake really is. Its cheap... but its comforting. Kind of like coming home from college to see that your family dog and best friend growing up passed away... but hey! Look at that, there's a hot juicy meatloaf on the counter, just like Mom used to make. If you see what I mean.

That caused me to think, though. Why did I think these were the best thing since Vault back in the day? Was I an ignorant kid, with no other personal taste preferences to feed off of (oh wow, third pun)? Why were these the epitamy of St. Patrick's Day?

My guess? They didn't have juice boxes filled with Guiness at the time.

This girl is obviously thrilled for a Shamrock Shake.

So, that's pretty much all I have to say about the Shamrock Shake. It's delicious, but not really delicious, but is still addicting for reasons unknown. I say pick one up during March. It'll be just like the '90s all over again. You can come over to my place and we'll watch old Hey Arnold! reruns and play Pogs while listening to Nirvana and drinking Capri-Sun. Just like old times.


BONUS!

Guess what I'm drinking right now.

Yeah, you guessed correctly. Vault.

BUT... now guess WHAT I'M DRINKING IT IN.

I made a video.



Hey. Don't be jealous for my rave cup and video editing skills.

Fool.

Just because I've been busy doesn't mean I'm not losing my perfect monthly-basis post account.

Shoot.

The 1st Annual 2008 Josh Awe-Inspiring Overwhelming Magnificent Spectacularly Spectacular Awesome Awards. Of 2008.

Happy New Year. Well, actually Happy January 3rd. And Merry Christmas. Look. I don't even care what you think right now. There was a total of ONE Christmas-related article, the Christmas decorations are still up, and I never fulfilled promises. But you know what? That's because you didn't deserve it this year. Nope, not at all. Its like virtual coal, and this website is your virtual stocking. And I'm Santa, beeotch. And no, I am not taking the Christmas crap down until I want to because it makes me feel nice.

Buuut anyways, as I was saying, its the New Year. 2009. So that means its time for the 1st Annual Josh Awe-Inspiring Overwhelming Magnificent Spectacularly Spectacular Awesome Year-End Award Show! Yes, I totally thought of that name myself.


So what are the Josh Awe-Inspiring Overwhelming Magnificent Spectacularly Spectacular Awesome Awards, or JAIOMSSAA for short? Its not really even an award ceremony. I basically get to crown what was awesome about 2008 and say what was the best. Because, you know, I'm the best. The best to the best. Or something.

And because I know everybody hates reading walls of words and would rather guzzle it down with pictures, I'll begin.






The MOST INFLUENTIAL PERSON OF 2008 Award
Josh Serrano

After a long, long thinking session of who should win this highly honorable award, the vote was unanimous - ME.

Suck it.

Public Reaction to the Announcement! (with edits as of 1/04!)
Andres Gonzalez - "lies!!!! tell the truth god is watching!!!"
Taylor Jones - "Joshua Serrano is the most despicable person I've ever met. The [most influential] person ever should be a good person, not one who misleads and discourages others"
Josh's Mom - "Ew."
Ryan "The Game" Green - ":O! Really well its about freaking time!"
Emily DeFore - "No. Really. I can't believe you won! What the fuck stupid duck? Why didn't you tell me?"


The MOST AWESOME YOUTUBE VIDEO CONCIEVED IN 2008 Award

Where's My Money

If you watch this and DON'T call it best video of the year the first time you see it, you probably should stop reading this blog. Don't even question the video about anything- that's part of the magic, don't you see??

Besides. What is there to understand?

God, I love YouTube.


The MOST AWESOME INNOVATION TO KILL THE ENTIRE HUMAN RACE Award
The Large Hadron Collider

Good job, science! You finally created a real death trap that will discover how the universe was made. Oh, but what happens if one of your guys effs up? You kinda destroy the entire the face of the Earth with a fiery explosion? Really? Great Scott!

Another reason why people who work for science suck. If scientists were pinned up against a wall with a Tyrannosaurus Rex about to eat their head off, the scientists would rather bend down for a second to see what the peculiarly colored spot is on the floor instead of jumping into the chopper three feet away.

But hey, it gives me a little more comfort knowing Gordan Freeman is on the team.


The AWESOME MOVIE OF 2008 Award
Twilight

YEEEEEEAH TWILIGHT HECK YES!!!!!11

WHAT'S THE DARK KNIGHT? WALL-E? WHAT'S THAT? JAMES BOND? NEVER HEARD OF IT. ROLE MODELS? MORE LIKE BORE MODELS LOL!

THIS MOVIE GETS A 10/10, 5 STARS, TWO THUMBS UP ITS THE BEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN I LOVE THAT EDWARD DOOD HES A HUNK LOL

BRB, GOIN TO HOT TOPIC


The LITERARY AWARD OF ACHIEVEMENT '08 Award
"Hores" by Anonymous 3rd Grader

Ah, America. Its good to know our educational system is training our kids right! Its always a good idea for a kid to know what he wants at a young age so it can pave his future path. Wait, what? I was talking about writing, what did you think I was saying?

An essay like this reminds me of that black kid from Role Models. I wonder if he had the intention of the entire paper sounding like this and just did it to mess with the teacher's head. I know I would have!

...I liked the part about hores being able to put their legs strait up. Real cute, kid.


The MOST OVERUSED QUOTE TAKEN FROM A MOVIE IN 2008 Award
Tropic Thunder
"
I'm the dude playing the dude disguised as another dude!"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THAT'S STILL FUNNY EVEN AFTER THE MILLION TIMES EVERYONE IN THE ENTIRE COUNTRY RESPONDS TO ANYONE WHO EVEN MENTIONS THE MOVIE SAYS IT HAHAHAHHAHAHA THEY'RE SO CLEVER I WISH I WAS AS CREATIVE AS THEM!!!!111

Seriously, guys. Its getting old.

...Movie wasn't even that great anyways.


The MOST AWESOME SNACK OF THE YEAR Award
Sabritones

I know that unless you're Mexican you won't actually think these things taste good (not even I think it), but COME ON. They're the most amazing tasting sensation you'll ever acquire in your mouth - Chile and Lime Corn Puffed goodness.

So what if they smell/taste like crap? Sabritones are possibly the greatest thing to grace this planet, besides myself and wolverines. And nothing beats the expression your friend gives you when you tell them how good they are and stuff a handful of Sabritones in their mouth.

Sabritoooooones!


The BIGGEST ANNOYANCE 2008 Award
Majority of Girls on MySpace

I'll toss it out of the way right now that I know people on MySpace who aren't cam whores, but the ratio of stereotypical MySpace whore to not a "LOOK AT ME" MySpace user is about 2855983475984:1 . Here's an example of a bulletin one of them might post:

Subject: ARRRRRGH @R$&#(*%^@#*%&#%&*#^%&*#$^*#$ HELP

Body:
hangin out wit amyyyyyyyyyy LOL
leave a cmmnt bitchezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
pc4pc on newww defaultttt?
:P lol thanksss

The most obvious signs that you're messing with the stereotypical breed is if they have millions of pictures of them and their friends taking pictures off a bathroom mirror (when they could EASILY point it at themselves instead of using a bathroom mirror) for the sole intention of looking like a skank.

So, this award's out to all of you out there, MySpace Stereotypes. Thanks for making 2008 an especially annoying year. You know who you are.


The I CAN'T LOOK AT THIS WITHOUT LAUGHING AWESOME PICTURE OF THE YEAR Award
Serious Tommy is Serious

This picture alone made me laugh uncontrollably when I saw it for the first time.

I have no idea why. So I thought hey, I'm giving out awards, why not give one to my brother Serious Tommy?!



The 2008 (Q.Q) DON'T CRY EMO KID AWESOME PICTURE Award
Ducks

...;_;

This one doesn't even need an explanation.

RIP Ducks :(


The BEST JLOG BLOG ENTRY OF 2008 Award

This One

Y'all READING it!


The JLOG HONORARY AWESOME VIOLENCE Award

Left 4 Dead

Sorry, just had to mention how insanely awesome it is to light zombies on fire and the next second you're being eaten by one of the said zombies on fire.

These are the Awesome awards, and come on, who doesn't think zombies and gore are awesome?!

The JLOG HONORARY VIDEO GAME OF THE YEAR Award
The Naked Brothers Band: The Video Game

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That was my expression when I played THE NAKED BROTHERS BAND VIDEO GAME. THOSE GUYS ARE SUCH GOOD SINGERS I'M SO GLAD I GOT TO SING ALONG WITH THEM!!!!

Excellent game, excellent music, if you didn't get this for Christmas, YOU'RE MISSING OUT.


The MOST MISSED ACTOR WHO PASSED AWAY IN 2008 THAT WAS REALLY GOOD IN THAT SUPERHERO MOVIE BECAUSE HE PLAYED A CLOWN THAT MADE JOKES ABOUT BEING SERIOUS AND PENCILS THAT CAUSED TONS OF PEOPLE AROUND THE WORLD TO FIND SAID CLOWN CHARACTER RELEVANT AGAIN AFTER BEING UNPOPULAR FOR A WHILE Honorary Person Award
Heath Ledger

We'll miss you, bro!

Loved you in Ocean's 13!

---
And that's all I got for now. I worked on this far longer than I wanted to but hey, quality over quantity. That's what the Jlog is all about. Or maybe I'm just digging my thoughts for something to conclude this god-awful article with. I don't even know. My New Years Resolution is to be less lazy. Maybe I won't forgot to post here this year, but whatever. Who knows, right? Right.

And goodnight.


EDIT: Wait. I forgot an award.

The HONORARY AWESOME NON-CATEGORIZED ACHIEVEMENT OF 2008
Goes to Gabe. Because he's cool like that.
Here's a Mario cookie. Because I know you've always wanted to consume a Mario. Now you can live your dream of being a Piranha Plant! :D

Or something! :D

I have no idea! :D

EDIT 2: Well, I guess I keep feeling guilty I'm forgetting awards left and right tonight. Anywho!

The MOST AWESOME ROCK BAND DRUMMER THAT CAN ACTUALLY PLAY THROUGH A SONG ON EXPERT AND 5 STAR IT WITHOUT EVEN TRYING Award
Goes to Ryan. Only because he had the best Halloween costume ever.

Well, here you go Ryan. I like the new gynormous muscles and blue tinted skin look you got going on!

But seriously, you and me need to get two more people and start an insanely awesome band one of these days. Just, please don't put Michael on vocals, k? :D