The "Josh 9th Grade English Mandatory Blog" BLOG ARCHIVE.

So... summer is pretty much done. Over. Gone forever (not really). Tomorrow I have to get up early and head over to the school to get my first semester schedule. I guess this year Camarillo is lazy and won't just mail them to you like last year. It sucks, but I might be able to punch some people across the face while I sit in line waiting to know how my fate will turn out this year. (PLEASE GOD, DON'T GIVE ME MS. THEE AGAIN)

Anyway, something just reminded me of our blogs we had to do for English in Mrs. Gonzalez's class. It was a pretty good idea - whatever written homework we had, like poems or essays, would be posted onto the blog instead of physically handing them in. That included all of my insane Chuck Norris and 80s treasures I wrote about. Some of the entries were from stuff the teacher passed back to us, and everyone else in the class could read it when it was our day to go to the library or whatever. We could even decorate the backgrounds and stuff.

So it was pretty cool in my eyes, considering it was school anyways. But sadly, this was Mrs. Gonzalez's last year at Cam High, which could potentially kill all of the blog posts whenever it was deemed too inactive or she decided to take it down. I just found the old link through some heavy-Googling and before everything gets thrown away, I'll save it a comfy home in this nice old blog of mine.

So, without further ado, here's my old school English blog, including just-written explanations, in all it's entirety...
"This Blog is better than You", Period 4. By Josh.

About the Blogger
This blog is probably better than yours. No question. by josh


I Live in TV
Posted on Febuary 21, 2008 at 2:12 PM
[We were given some poem called "I Live in Music" and we were supposed to change everything in the original to something that interested us. Everybody was doing the same lame thing, like nature or video games. I spiced mine up a little. And yes, I really turned this in as is.]

by the Josh

I live in TV
This isn't where you live
I live here in TV
I live on 21 Jump Street
My friend lives Bel Air
You probably don't live here in TV
Bill Nye the Science Guy
Runs round me like robots to other folks
Gilligan pours water on my face
Cold as the anger in Chuck Norris' eye
Hot like random stuff blowing up I rub my lips
Thinking they waz Alf
I got Saved by the Bell when other people got nothing
& a 62 inch plasma screen for both sides of my heart
I walk round in the news like somebody else
be walkin' on the Earth
I live in channels
Eat in the Food Network
Breath on Oxygen
I can even smell it
Wear TV on my head
You can watch Cops
Ya could make an American Idol where your arm is
Hold yourself in TV
Or something, I don't know, I'm done with this poem


FREE VERSE - An Ode to Chuck Norris
Posted on Febuary 28, 2008 at 8:15 PM
[We were assigned a little over a week long project where we had to use every main form of poetry. I decided that this was going to be really boring unless I did something insanely awesome. And knowing me, I did.]

And Ode to Chuck Norris
by Josh Serrano.

Chuck Norris, the most powerful person one will ever meet
Seeing Chuck Norris will make your brain explode
Hearing Chuck Norris makes ears crumble
Touching Chuck Norris sends waves of fire up your arms
There's no question about it.
Chuck Norris is crazy cool.
Some say he can shatter one's very soul
from all the power and force in his Roundhouse Kick.
Nothing in this universe can compare to the Chuck
while not even the universe can compare to Chuck Norris.
But at the end of the day,
planets still revolve around the sun, right?
the sun revolves around Chuck Norris.



ACROSTIC - Chuck Norris
Posted on February 28, 2008 at 8:42 PM
[For this one, we had to write a poem about whatever we wanted, but what we chose had to spell the the word/phrase when looking at the first letters in every sentence downwards. Guess what I chose...]

Chuck Norris
by Josh Serrano.

Chuck Norris is a man-god
He can probably eat your soul
Under these circumstances, he actually is going to eat your soul
Cause he's cool like that.
Killing is Chuck's hobby
Nobody can beat him
Others have tried...
Real smart, because they have yet to come back.
Reason #90012 Chuck Norris is better than you.
I think Chuck Norris is cool
So you should too.


EPITAPH - The Death of a Legend
Posted on February 28, 2008 at 9:02 PM
[You know the writing they put on gravestones under the name that describes the dead guy? Well, apparently you use poems on them. So, mine, dealing with death, is of course tragic...]

The Death of a Legend
by Josh Serrano.

Although here his body lies,
everyone knows
Chuck Norris can not die.
While his victims have fallen,
you can still hear them bawlin',
from the roundhouse kick Chuck used
through utter pain and abuse.
So, we gather here today and while we forget less,
it seems as Death has finally caught Chuck Norris...
but Chuck Norris had really caught Death.


FOUND POEM - Chun Kuk Do
Posted on February 28, 2008 at 9:18 PM
[This one wasn't very exciting actually. We had to go into a book/text, put some phrases together, and make a poem out of it. It's not easy finding things written about Chuck Norris that weren't vulgar, so I went deeper and looked into a website about Chuck's martial art strategy. Intense...]

Chun Kuk Do
by Josh Serrano.

Chun Kuk Do, the universal way
a defensive combat, an open style
colored belts, rank and skill like most martial
a Code of Ethics, used by all practitioners
"I will develop myself to the maximum of my
potential in all ways."
"Forget the mistakes of the past and press on to
greater achivements."
"Look for the good in all people and make them
feel worthwhile."
"Maintain respect for those in authority and
demonstrate respect at all times."
"Always remain loyal to God, my country, my
family, and my friends."
not just kicking and striking, a style of
fighting... a way of life

(text found from here:


CONCRETE - The Face of Chuck
Posted on February 28, 2008 at 9:29 PM
[Concrete poems are poems that seem to resemble a picture based on the object of the poem. Little did we know that when we submitted something to the blog that it would reformat, so they're all kind of eff'ed up. Just deal with it - it was supposed to look like Chuck Norris' head, and no way I'm going to put it all back together again. Chuck ain't no egg.]

The Face of Chuck
by Josh Serrano.

Can you believe how crazy cool the
Chuck is? His face is the most
intimidating thing anybody will
life --- ---
with his eyes
as he
stares into your soul. His
goatee and sideburns make
Chuck look even more fright-
ening, be- cause
under his beard
is not a chin,
but really just another
fist. Nobody can even
compare to the Chuck.

(the poem is in the shape of a face, with "---" being eyebrows, "his eyes" being eyes, and the words at the bottom being a goatee and a spot for the mouth)


HAIKU - Dr. Pepper
Posted on Febuary 28, 2008 at 9:33 PM
[Here's the last of that project's poems. I was drinking a Dr. Pepper at the time, and thought I should give some credit to the another great soda. And you probably know what a haiku is.]

Dr. Pepper
by Josh Serrano.

The Dr. Pepper,
a delicious miracle,
never disappoints.


Weintraub's Article ESSAY
Posted on April 29, 2008 at 1:59 PM
[For about a month we were studying this packet of newspaper articles about fast food companies getting people fat, which we had to decide whose fault it was - the person buying the food or the restaurants. Here's the essay we had to write about one article...]

Weintraub’s article “The Battle Against Fast Food Begins in the Home”, the author blames parents for the rising rate of obesity in children, opposed to the fast food industry. Many people, especially parents, are blaming companies such as McDonalds for the way children are eating unhealthily. Although I do agree that fast food companies are using advertisements to lure kids into their restaurants, I agree with how Weintraub thinks that parents need to step up and stop blaming others for their own obvious mistakes.
When I was a lot younger, my parents would send me to McDonalds about once a week for a Happy Meal. I didn’t think anything of it, other than my parents being nice and giving me a treat for food. I had no idea about nutrition facts. Heck, I thought you could only get fat from eating way too much. But what ended up happening to me was I would get sick every month, maybe even more. And although I was born into a family with a high metabolism, I understood I was getting unhealthier. My parents noticed this and stopped sending me to the McDonalds Playground all the time, and tried getting more homemade meals into my diet. They never once blamed the restaurants for being unhealthy, and instead took this upon their selves to get me back into shape.
Weintraub explains his thoughts on the matter, and I didn’t think he could be more spot-on. He says although his family isn’t the healthiest in the world, he tries to do the best he and his wife can to show his children what eating right should be all about. Kids have absolutely no understanding of how the human stomach works, or how to get fat. Parents need to try to explain to them that even though Wendy’s and Baskin Robbins trips twice a week sounds good, it will be bad for them when they grow up. Show them that healthy food can be good too, and try to make homemade meals when the parents are home. Hey, even getting smaller portions of food when eating out will help young ones and affect the way they think about ordering fast food in the future.
So in conclusion, parents got to stand up and take action, not just sit around and whine that McDonalds made their kids fatties. Is Burger King shoving milkshakes and fries down your kids’ throats? It’s the parents who are giving money to their children. It’s the parents who are buying them burgers instead of salads. It’s the parents who ultimately influence the way children eat.


The 80s!
Posted on June 2, 2008 at 1:50 PM
[This was the last post I put into the blog only a week before school was let out. We had to write a summary about the book we were reading using a worksheet... basically it was just a fill in the blank. And of course I was reading a Time Life book on the 80s.]

If you enjoy the decades, nostalgia, and big hair, then you should read The 80s, a nonfiction book by The Editors of Time Life magazine. It tells the intense story of pop culture, politics, and happenings during the 1980s which changed the way people looked at the world, such as articles and timelines including music, movies, and the life of Ronald Reagan. The best part of the book is when the writers talk about how songs featured more electronic sounds from the rising popularity of computers, and also how movies were becoming more complex with special effects. After reading it, I have learned that the 80s was a pretty awesome time to live in, and also led up to many things that are still used today. Intense and freaking crazy, this book is definitely a you-must-read-it-now-read!

And there you go. My 9th Grade English 1 Blog. So, uh, yeah.


Mrs. Gonzalez said...

Chuck Norris has been on television quite a bit lately. Did you see him endorse Huckabee?

By the way...

I am doing everything in my power to keep the blog alive. I haven't yet decided if I will create one for my Oxnard students. We'll see.

Thanks for the good work!