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Sit Right There, I'll tell you all about how Will Smith became the BEST GUY EVER... of Bel-Air?


So, as you probably have heard, there's a new movie coming out staring everybody's favorite Fresh Prince, Will Smith. It's called Hancock (You! In the back! Stop giggling!), and it's about some superhero who the public generally dislikes. I personally will always have a place in my heart for a superhero who's usually drunk, throws kids just for fun, and raps about moving to Bel-Air. Anyways, its safe to say Will Smith is one of my favorite actors of all time.

But, I bet you didn't even know how Will even got to where he is today, did you? That's a no.

Well. Looks like I'll have to show you how great Will Smith is and how great Will Smith's life is. Not only because of the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, no! Everything else is just AWESOME.

I'll try not to make as many Fresh Prince references as possible. Here goes...



Will Smith, His Royal Freshness, was born around 7 or 8 when he yelled to the womb "yo holmes smell ya later!". He was pronounced Prince right on the spot, along with his abnormally large ears.

West Philadelphia was where he was born and raised. Some say on the playground is where Will spent most of his days. You know, chilling out, maxing, and of course, relaxin' all cool. Him and his friend Jazzy Jeff would play some basketball outside the school, eatin' barbeque and putting those whiteys to shame in b-ball.

Well, you see, those whiteys mentioned earlier were ROBOT BEARS IN DISGUISE. They beat up Jazz and Willie. The kids came home BAWing, when The Prince's mom got scared. Those Robot Bears mean business, you know! She told him that he's moving with his auntie and uncle in Bel-Air, as California is a Robot Bear free zone.

Will cried, but snuck Jazz in his briefcase, so it ALL good!

When the Fresh Prince and Jazz got into Bel-Air, they realized how pissed off their parents made them. How could they send them all the way over here? Will had heard things about them boozing wine and all that. Is this REALLY the type of place where they could send this cool cat?! Jazz, being observant, saw a nearby recording studio. This could be their big break! He told Will this, and he added how he now didn't think so, he'll see when he gets there, to sit on his throne as the new Prince of Bel-Air!

You see, Will was the rapper, and Jazz was the DJ. So, being clever, they released a CD called He's the DJ, I'm the Rapper. They also made songs, apparently. One was about how parents don't understand them although they're grown men, one was about how women aren't nothing but trouble although Will and Jazz aren't gay, and one about fighting Mike Tyson. Somebody's been playing a little too much Punch-Out!!

With their clever lyrics (So kids all across the land... parents just don't understand!), they became SUPAHSTARS. People loved them!

But then... IT HAPPENED.

One of the whiteys followed Will and Jazz... and he ATE JAZZ.

HE EFFIN ATE JAZZ!


Will became clinically depressed.

The only thing he could do to ease all the pain was destroy alien scum while dressed in black.
Everything pretty much just went down hill from there.

I drew this, shut up

Poor Fresh Prince. All he ever loved... had passed him by. But! Hope was not lost!

One day he MAGICALLY GOT SUPERPOWERS. He could fly! He was momentarily happy...

...that is, until he flew into an apartment complex and ran into a baby at 66mph. The baby sadly didn't make it.

So... these were Will's dark hours. He turned to drinking. HEAVY alcohol.

This went on for about 5 years... until one day, he was sitting on top of a building.

He was drinking, as usual. But in the distance, Will Smith saw a cab. It was coming near! The license plate said Fresh and there were di-

BOOM.
The taxi cab that The Prince saw was REALLY coming near him. And it sadly smashed our brave hero. If he wasn't looking so closely into the contents of the cab, he might still be here today....

The "Fresh" Prince has officially become "Spoiled".

But his legacy lives on, all through us. In our souls, we all hold a piece of Will Smith's heart.

Also, through the 90s, a sitcom based on his personality and how he wanted to live his life was made. It was titled the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. The theme song contains hidden lyrics that chronicle his certain death, as you can tell.

And the upcoming movie Hancock? That film really chronichles the last few weeks on Earth featuring Will Smith.

...

OKAY, SO THIS IS ALL MADE UP. Sheesh, you can't come to my blog ALWAYS finding true facts, you know. Sheesh. Go to wikipedia if you want to read Will's life story...

Well kids, I won't be able to write for the next few days as I won't be near a computer.

Don't BAWWWWW! I'll be back before you know it.

Have a happy Fourth of July, everyone. Honor our country's birthday, eat cookies, and all that.

...UNCLE PHIL WAS NOT MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE. THAT'S MESSED UP, YO.

1 comments:

Taylor. said...

Hahah. Now you have to write about Wall-E.
Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I liked to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air

In west Philadelphia born and raised
On the playground was where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
And all shootin some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys
Who were up to no good
Startin making trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
She said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air'

I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my suite case and send me on my way
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.
I put my walkman on and said, 'I might as well kick it'.

First class, yo this is bad
Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass.
Is this what the people of Bel-Air Living like?
Hmmmmm this might be alright.

But wait I hear there're prissy, wine all that
Is Bel-Air the type of place they send this cool cat?
I don't think sow
I'll see when I get there
I hope they're prepared for the prince of Bel-Air

Well, the plane landed and when I came out
There was a dude who looked like a cop standing there with my name out
I ain't trying to get arrested
I just got here
I sprang with the quickness like lightening, disappeared

I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I can say this cab is rare
But I thought 'Now forget it' - 'Yo homes to Bel Air'

I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later'
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air


Whoah! Uncle Phil wasn't mentioned. For was Ashley. Or Vivian. Or JEFFERY! HOW COULD YOU FORGET FREAKING JEFFERY! COME-ON!


...:D