STICKREVIEW: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull


So I decided I'd make my first review on the new Indiana Jones. Why? Because it seems everybody (even communists) on the internet has to be hating. And even though its not the best movie, or Indy film for that matter, its still a crazy awesome mindless action movie.

WARNING: THERES GOING TO BE SPOILERS! SO IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE MOVIE YET... well, I can't really tell you what to do so never mind...

Okay, so it seems everyone is getting mad at Indy 4 for a couple (actually, a lot) of reasons. So... I'm going to go over all of them and show you what you should stop whining about, and while because of time I can't make it a real review, I'll also point out where they went wrong in a couple of things...

#1) "Surviving a nuclear explosion by going into a refrigerator? Aliens?! This movie is UNREALISTIC!!1"

So ghosts killing Nazis from a box, ripping out hearts and surviving, and falling without a broken bone from about 80 feet is real but a UFO and alien skeletons aren't...?

Seriously, if you really think about it, the WHOLE ENTIRE Indiana Jones series is unrealistic. Think about it. The Arc? GHOSTS. That one guy from Temple of Doom? HE PULLED OUT HEARTS. And how did Indy and his dad (who should have fragile bones from being old to begin with) survive falling from a crashing plane?! Theres a lot more if you watch closely. So even though aliens seem off subject from Indiana Jones (which I thought was somewhat interesting seeing as the movie took place in the 50s, during the era with the Roswell crash and all), its not like the movie ever had a thing for being "realistic".

#2) "They should've stopped using CGI and used more old effects! I mean SWINGING FROMVINES WTF DUDE??!"
The ants and the "Tarzan" scene were obvious CGI moments that you people whine about

I really don't think anyone gives enough credit to some of the scenes that they knew had CGI in. Lets start with the scene where a horde of ants carry that one guy into their ant hill. The scene, in my honest opinion, was very well thought out and it creeped out a lot of the audience. For most that don't complain about the CGI; it was a highlight they spoke about the next day. Really, if they hadn't used CGI, it would obviously look fake using pre-computer special effects in 2008 with horribley made robots and strings and stuff like that. Also, the Tarzan scene with Mutt swinging across the vines. It was a really short scene (maybe all together 6 seconds), and for some "it ruined the movie". Maybe they didn't get it right, and to you it looked fake (which didn't even look that bad). Does it really ruin the Indiana Jones series? Well, i'm sorry, but it was just a simple little scene that maybe didn't appeal to you. =,(

#3) Actually... there were times where the CGI was bad, but it didn't ruin the movie

In one shot of the jeep fight scene, although the Sun is coming from directly toward the camera's direction, you can see shadows coming off in TWO DIFFERENT WAYS... this is from bad Green Screening and having a light behind them while filming

The Green Screen scenes are the most noticeable ones (as explained above), but these small occurrences are probably only seen if you look hard enough. The jeep scene with the uneven shadows, for example, was only a couple seconds long while in the other shots they cover it up pretty well. But still, it wasn't like the film was a disaster from little screw ups here and there, as I bet they'll be out by the time Indy 4 is out on DVD. Also another example of why it was good that they used CGI in the movie: they could edit out shadows like this in the majority of the scenes, and for the stunts old Harrison Ford wouldn't break his spleen or whatever old people break nowadays.

...But I'll admit, those prarie dogs moved unrealisticly because they were 3D. But at least they looked decently real!

Well, in a normal review I would probably write/draw more, but I think I made my point across... plus I didn't have as much time as I really needed. So, when the next review comes around, don't only expect more but I'll actually review the movie fully, and not just shut up people for saying Indiana Jones sucks.

...Also, two things that bugged me.
1) Indy used the whip like 3 times. 3 TIMES!!! Thats like his signature weapon and he neglected it. Shaaaaame.
2) ...I know hes probably an adult now but I miss Short Round. He was my favorite. =(

...But other than that I give Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Met-erm Skull...

3.9 out of 5 *wutcha* cracks!



Taylor. said...

Short Round was the BEST! Yeah I agree with your review. But during the "Tarzan" scene I was thinking, "WTF?!" Sure there was a lot of CGI, but it was still good.