Vault - Its like Jesus in a glass!

Most people have seen the commercials but have never tried it. But, when I go out in public and see somebody drinking a Vault, it makes me feel like I should personally give them a high five. Because that's how good these things are.

Vault is an energy soda made by the makers of Coke to compete with Mountain Dew. Vault has more caffeine than the competition, which gives it an early advantage, but also tastes a lot better and less sweet. Its more citrus-y and a little bit less fizzy.

Vault came out everywhere around 2 years ago, so its still pretty new. I had my first Vault after my friend would come online telling me how hyper the stuff got her. I thought Mountain Dew was the only really caffeinated soda that could make you sugar high, so not liking Mountain Dew too much, I shrugged it off. That is, until the very first night of summer, when I was camping in Newport Beach. I was at the grocery store getting ready for a barbecue, when I saw a bunch of signs for Vault. My dad just threw it in the cart without really asking me, but I didn't care. When I got back to our camper, I turned on the TV and ate my dinner and just grabbed a can without thinking too much about it. I took a drink... and I thought I was having an acid trip in my mouth.
If I had to explain it in detail... I would pretty much say its just like putting Pixie Stick and some lemon and lime in your mouth. And maybe crack. Lots of crack.

In conclusion... Its good. REALLY good.

Seriously, go try some if you haven't. Its delicious and will make your life better. Seriously. Like, if you're on the beach and drinking an ice cold Vault, chances are you'll pick up like five girls' numbers. And after that they'll all come over to your house and have a big party. Honest! Vault will bring you THE BEST PARTY OF YOUR LIFE.

...I wonder how much Coke will pay me to keep smooth-talking people into buying Vault.


Taylor. said...

Wow. Seriously you are gonna be some kind of critic when you are older. I'm serious. Or have some late night comedy show like Jay Leno...or more like SNL where you could have your friends do random stuff-and maybe even cousins.

"Like, if you're on the beach and drinking an ice cold Vault, chances are you'll pick up like five girls' numbers."
--Then how come you haven't?
Sorry that was mean, buddy. This is a long comment. Yeah this blog is stellar. I think we should make a Vault commercial over the summer, along with the other commercial. Crraap. Oma just walked through the door and is yelling at the dog. Mmkay. I'll be waiting for your next post.