Yes! The day has come!
To commemorate the second summer of the Jlog being available to your eye holes, I present to you the JLOG 2.0.
Well, it may not be THAT epic, but there's a new layout thats easier to read and stuff. I spent a couple days working on this basically from scratch, so YOU BETTER APPRECIATE IT MONKEYS.
In the top left corner, you'll notice a little "Beta" sign as well. It's there because I'm going to be making sure things look smoother and nicer for the next couple days or even weeks. We'll see how long it takes until I like it! Expect changes or things to go wonky while the sign is up.
So. Now that I finally finished the new look, I'll have time for some articles in the distant future. Keep your ears (and eyes) open!
Showing posts with label announcement. Show all posts
Showing posts with label announcement. Show all posts
Happy 1st Jlogiversary.
Hey, kids. Did you know that one year ago today, the Jlog was born? Well, it was, and since then (but not so much right now) it has inspired countless hundreds to think about pointless and useless things that I find necessary to blog about. I remember like it was just yesterday...
Back in May of '08, I was but a wimpy Freshman in an English class. I had always thought about making a blog to chronicle whatever awesome things I feel like speaking or telling the uneducated about, but I never had the encouragement to start one. That is, until one day, my English teacher started to make us enter in our homework assignments on a school-run blogging system. Although that was for the most part unrelated, it just set off the spark for me wanting to write about things in my spare time. And thus, on the 24th of May, The Jlog was born, in all its lined paper and stick figured glory. So, Mrs. Gonzalez, if you're reading this somewhere, you're partly to blame for this blog. You should feel special.
Anywho. I made a birthday cupcake.
To help celebrate this huge monument in American history, I've decided to round-up the best Jlog postings over the year in my eyes. Enjoy this blast from the past!
- Vault - Its like Jesus in a glass! (May 24 2008) - This is the first article that started it all.
- New Mountain Dew is SUPERCOOL (May 28 2008) - My first brand new soda review, which has stood place in my memory for writing. Whenever I think of it, I think of Summer. I almost literally drowned myself in Mountain Dew this summer.
- STICKREVIEW: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (May 28 2008) - My first and only "StickReview!" This Jlog lead me to be stuck in a dark room on PhotoShop for about 4 hours. No joke.
- SCHOOOOOOOOOOL'S OUUUUT (June 13 2008) - This is so unstructured that its awesome. That is all. Also, it signifys my FIRST SUMMER serving you, the reader. Or something.
- I Hate Can Openers with a Vengence. (June 18 2008) - The most widely talked about joke between my friends, family, and I once Summer was over. Good times be had that day!
- ROBOT BEARS :O (June 30 2008) - An example of how bored I got after only 17 days of Summer.
- Sit Right There, I'll tell you all about how Will Smith became the BEST GUY EVER... of Bel-Air? (July 2 2008) - A full-ledged story that I got bored with half-way through!
- Soda Jelly Beans STICKREVIEW! (July 21 2008) - Just kidding, I lied. My second StickReview. I especially love the sick drawings of Jelly Bellys I did.
- Burger King Potato Chips! (August 3 2008) - First Jlog with an accompanying video! But man, those chips gave off the grossest smell on my desk for like two days. I did it all in the name of you guys, too.
- Halloween 08: Grow Your Own Goblin. (October 12 2008) - You should've seen how many people thought I was the devil for naming that goblin Zombie Bernie Mac.
- The 1st Annual Josh Awe-Inspiring Overwhelming Magnificent Spectacularly Spectacular Awesome Awards. Of 2008. (January 3 2009) - The most hit counts on any Jlog to date! Also, the one I'm least proud of!
And for those wondering when I'll be returning to a semi-scheduled basis for Jlogs, let this be the first formal announcement - I am going to start writing again. I've had no time with my busy, busy life in the past couple months, and that also doesn't set in well with my easily procrastinated creativity banks. But, if I could do it last May 24 all the way until August, why can't I do it again?
It may not be on as large of a scale as last summer, but I will sincerely try. I've got some nice articles under my sleeve, perhaps one coming as early as this week...
So, until next time, stay classy San Diego. Also, because I know its relevant to your interests, it smells STRONGLY of ass in this room that I am in right now.
(P.S. I know, I'm still renovating the layout, that's priority number one right now!)
Back in May of '08, I was but a wimpy Freshman in an English class. I had always thought about making a blog to chronicle whatever awesome things I feel like speaking or telling the uneducated about, but I never had the encouragement to start one. That is, until one day, my English teacher started to make us enter in our homework assignments on a school-run blogging system. Although that was for the most part unrelated, it just set off the spark for me wanting to write about things in my spare time. And thus, on the 24th of May, The Jlog was born, in all its lined paper and stick figured glory. So, Mrs. Gonzalez, if you're reading this somewhere, you're partly to blame for this blog. You should feel special.
Anywho. I made a birthday cupcake.
To help celebrate this huge monument in American history, I've decided to round-up the best Jlog postings over the year in my eyes. Enjoy this blast from the past!
- Vault - Its like Jesus in a glass! (May 24 2008) - This is the first article that started it all.
- New Mountain Dew is SUPERCOOL (May 28 2008) - My first brand new soda review, which has stood place in my memory for writing. Whenever I think of it, I think of Summer. I almost literally drowned myself in Mountain Dew this summer.
- STICKREVIEW: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (May 28 2008) - My first and only "StickReview!" This Jlog lead me to be stuck in a dark room on PhotoShop for about 4 hours. No joke.
- SCHOOOOOOOOOOL'S OUUUUT (June 13 2008) - This is so unstructured that its awesome. That is all. Also, it signifys my FIRST SUMMER serving you, the reader. Or something.
- I Hate Can Openers with a Vengence. (June 18 2008) - The most widely talked about joke between my friends, family, and I once Summer was over. Good times be had that day!
- ROBOT BEARS :O (June 30 2008) - An example of how bored I got after only 17 days of Summer.
- Sit Right There, I'll tell you all about how Will Smith became the BEST GUY EVER... of Bel-Air? (July 2 2008) - A full-ledged story that I got bored with half-way through!
- Soda Jelly Beans STICKREVIEW! (July 21 2008) - Just kidding, I lied. My second StickReview. I especially love the sick drawings of Jelly Bellys I did.
- Burger King Potato Chips! (August 3 2008) - First Jlog with an accompanying video! But man, those chips gave off the grossest smell on my desk for like two days. I did it all in the name of you guys, too.
- Halloween 08: Grow Your Own Goblin. (October 12 2008) - You should've seen how many people thought I was the devil for naming that goblin Zombie Bernie Mac.
- The 1st Annual Josh Awe-Inspiring Overwhelming Magnificent Spectacularly Spectacular Awesome Awards. Of 2008. (January 3 2009) - The most hit counts on any Jlog to date! Also, the one I'm least proud of!
And for those wondering when I'll be returning to a semi-scheduled basis for Jlogs, let this be the first formal announcement - I am going to start writing again. I've had no time with my busy, busy life in the past couple months, and that also doesn't set in well with my easily procrastinated creativity banks. But, if I could do it last May 24 all the way until August, why can't I do it again?
It may not be on as large of a scale as last summer, but I will sincerely try. I've got some nice articles under my sleeve, perhaps one coming as early as this week...
So, until next time, stay classy San Diego. Also, because I know its relevant to your interests, it smells STRONGLY of ass in this room that I am in right now.
(P.S. I know, I'm still renovating the layout, that's priority number one right now!)
Fool.
Just because I've been busy doesn't mean I'm not losing my perfect monthly-basis post account.
Shoot.
Shoot.
Christmas News.
Alright.
I know.
I'm way behind. The layout isn't done, I haven't started any blogs this month, and we're already well into the second week of December.
Don't worry though. I have Wednesday off, so you might get an article or two.
Be patient. :)
I know.
I'm way behind. The layout isn't done, I haven't started any blogs this month, and we're already well into the second week of December.
Don't worry though. I have Wednesday off, so you might get an article or two.
Be patient. :)
Christmas layout.
Its not done but I can't work on it until next week sometime.
So, uh, enjoy loud colors.
Ho ho ho.
So, uh, enjoy loud colors.
Ho ho ho.
Christmas? Christmas.
I really feel like just writing something today. I've been inside the house all day, and I can almost see the walls sweating from the heat we're getting outside. Its kind of disgusting how the rest of the world are starting to pull out their winter jackets and pull the trigger on their heat lamps, but down here in California we have to devolve to shirts and T-shirts. Super gay.
Still, even with the sweat puddles that are forming in the couch, my spirits aren't coming down. And its pretty obvious why if you've gone to a shopping mall anytime recently - Its the beginning of the Christmas season. Might as well be called Christmas in July, but its starting.
I've kind of exited out Thanksgiving from my spiritual celebration calender, and nobody really looks that much forward to turkey and mashed potatoes. Okay, well, that's a lie. Because I like to eat. But I've made it tradition to listen to Christmas music bright and early in the morning before the parade starts. And then after I see Santa Claus riding a plastic sleigh at the very end and pass Macy's, I go back and listen to more Christmas music. That's just how it works in my house.
So yeah, I guess that's all I have to say. I just wanted you to realize how freaking CLOSE IT IS until Christmas. 39 days, to be exact. To put it into perspective: 8 more days, and it will be one month. One month until presents, food, and more presents. :)
...But no presents from this guy.
But don't forget! Here on the blog there'll probably be more Christmas stuff than there were Halloween stuff. One, because I like Christmas more. Two, I get lazy in October. No, I did not just make that up.
Still, even with the sweat puddles that are forming in the couch, my spirits aren't coming down. And its pretty obvious why if you've gone to a shopping mall anytime recently - Its the beginning of the Christmas season. Might as well be called Christmas in July, but its starting.
I've kind of exited out Thanksgiving from my spiritual celebration calender, and nobody really looks that much forward to turkey and mashed potatoes. Okay, well, that's a lie. Because I like to eat. But I've made it tradition to listen to Christmas music bright and early in the morning before the parade starts. And then after I see Santa Claus riding a plastic sleigh at the very end and pass Macy's, I go back and listen to more Christmas music. That's just how it works in my house.
So yeah, I guess that's all I have to say. I just wanted you to realize how freaking CLOSE IT IS until Christmas. 39 days, to be exact. To put it into perspective: 8 more days, and it will be one month. One month until presents, food, and more presents. :)
...But no presents from this guy.But don't forget! Here on the blog there'll probably be more Christmas stuff than there were Halloween stuff. One, because I like Christmas more. Two, I get lazy in October. No, I did not just make that up.
Halloween's over. PARTIE'S DONE GET OUT
I'm announcing this a little late, but - surprise- Halloween is done. No more ghosts. No more vampires. No more of those little sugar candy pumpkin things I love so much.
ALL GONE.
And that includes all the Halloween festivities. No more Ghoul-Aid, Jason masks or Halloween Logos.
But why is this good?
SANTA SANTA SANTA SANTA
ALL GONE.
And that includes all the Halloween festivities. No more Ghoul-Aid, Jason masks or Halloween Logos.
But why is this good?
SANTA SANTA SANTA SANTA
47 Days until Christmas as of today.
Expect a lot of Christmas stuff after Thanksgiving, like usual.
And that Halloween update I was going to post? Well one part of it isn't done, and the other part I think will make a good surplus post for when I forget to post and get lazy. So I'm saving it.
New post later tonight too.
Expect a lot of Christmas stuff after Thanksgiving, like usual.
And that Halloween update I was going to post? Well one part of it isn't done, and the other part I think will make a good surplus post for when I forget to post and get lazy. So I'm saving it.
New post later tonight too.
Halloween 08: Buried Pomegranate Jones Soda!
I guess I would say I'm a festive person. For example, I've been counting down every single day until Christmas since the day after last Christmas. I think holidays are not only cool because it gives people an excuse to do holiday things, but because its an excuse for big money companies to cash off your love for said holiday things. Go anywhere during the month and you'll see product placement, candy, TV specials, movies, lawn decorations, soda, food, etc. It may seem that the guys who make all the stuff are just trying to get you to buy it and benefit off of your love of the day, and really that's all it really is. But you and I both know everyone loves it and is basically what makes holidays - and this case, Halloween.
And that's why I'm going to start a month-long of Halloween relevant posts with - surprise - a Halloween relevant post.
Halloween Jones Soda anyone?
Buried Pomegranate!
And that's why I'm going to start a month-long of Halloween relevant posts with - surprise - a Halloween relevant post.
Halloween Jones Soda anyone?
Buried Pomegranate!Its kind of a fact that everyone who's anyone has had at least one Jones Soda in their lifetime. I don't really think I need to introduce it, but if you forgot, they're the big bottles with brightly colored liquid inside and there's a wrapper with home pictures on the outside of little kids doing something dumb.
Along with the usual CRAAAAAAZY flavors (Berry Lemonade, Root Beer, Green Apple, Crushed Melon, etc.), around the later months they start selling seasonal sodas. Way back in 2003, they experimented by selling a new soda in November with a flavor simply titled "Turkey and Gravy". And yes, it really tasted like turkey and gravy. It sold so well that they've been releasing special holiday drinks for Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas... but they decided to keep the Turkey and Gravy train going.
For Halloween, its a little different though - they only sell the new flavors in snack-size cans in 4 packs, but the good thing is there's 3 new flavors every year with a pun in the name. Because I'm cheap and all of my finances go towards Rock Band, I got only one (not like I needed all of them) - Buried Pomegranate.
Like all Jones Sodas, it was colorful - this time that color was pink. I don't even think anyone regularly sells pink colored soda on account of it looking really gay. Does it turn you gay if you drink it? If you're straight and drink it, does it make you throw up rainbows and tight pants? These were questions I hoped I didn't have to answer.
Besides thinking of really lame jokes, I took a drink.
And, well, it's actually really good.
It smells a LOT like pomegranate (and luckily not dirt-smelling BURIED pomegranate), and tastes like it too. There's not enough sugar or stickiness to make you feel gross either... it's no Berry Lemonade. Its pretty nice and light with no side of spewing rainbows.
As with anything Jones creates, I give it a thumbs-up. And if you're really lucky, I'll buy the other new flavors and tell you how those are too before you buy a bottle of liquidized crap. And on that note, I'll end this sadly lack of picture-filled post with some creepy picture I must have taken on accident:
Yes, I'll be updating with more awesome articles than this one but give me a break, I spent like almost three hours making the layout. No, I don't have anything better to do...
I live in Somis =/
Along with the usual CRAAAAAAZY flavors (Berry Lemonade, Root Beer, Green Apple, Crushed Melon, etc.), around the later months they start selling seasonal sodas. Way back in 2003, they experimented by selling a new soda in November with a flavor simply titled "Turkey and Gravy". And yes, it really tasted like turkey and gravy. It sold so well that they've been releasing special holiday drinks for Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas... but they decided to keep the Turkey and Gravy train going.
For Halloween, its a little different though - they only sell the new flavors in snack-size cans in 4 packs, but the good thing is there's 3 new flavors every year with a pun in the name. Because I'm cheap and all of my finances go towards Rock Band, I got only one (not like I needed all of them) - Buried Pomegranate.
Like all Jones Sodas, it was colorful - this time that color was pink. I don't even think anyone regularly sells pink colored soda on account of it looking really gay. Does it turn you gay if you drink it? If you're straight and drink it, does it make you throw up rainbows and tight pants? These were questions I hoped I didn't have to answer.
Besides thinking of really lame jokes, I took a drink.
And, well, it's actually really good.
It smells a LOT like pomegranate (and luckily not dirt-smelling BURIED pomegranate), and tastes like it too. There's not enough sugar or stickiness to make you feel gross either... it's no Berry Lemonade. Its pretty nice and light with no side of spewing rainbows.
As with anything Jones creates, I give it a thumbs-up. And if you're really lucky, I'll buy the other new flavors and tell you how those are too before you buy a bottle of liquidized crap. And on that note, I'll end this sadly lack of picture-filled post with some creepy picture I must have taken on accident:
Yes, I'll be updating with more awesome articles than this one but give me a break, I spent like almost three hours making the layout. No, I don't have anything better to do...
I live in Somis =/
Check Back to the blog on October 1st.
October begins with the first of three of the big holiday months.
...Just sayin'.
...Just sayin'.
THE JLOG NEWS: STAY CLASSY SAN DIEGO
HOLY CRAP AN UPDATE WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOA
Your face when you went to the blog.
Your face when you went to the blog.Yeah, I'm not being completely neglectful. I've not forgotten the dear Jlog, I've just been way lazy these past few weeks and busy too (if that makes sense).
You should notice a couple things... first, all the colors changed around! Well, yup, they are. Second, there's a new logo! Celebrating going back to school! YAY! And third, before you start complaining, I know it isn't up to par with my old ones, but it's not going to be on there forever so deal with it. And the actual "the JLOG" logo looks off becauseI accidentally deleted it off my computer forever IT WAS UGLY SO I CHANGED IT.
Oh, make sure you vote in the nice little poll on the right there. Just make me feel important by putting it there, okay?
Oh, here's someone I want you to meet...
This is Charles the video camera.
You should notice a couple things... first, all the colors changed around! Well, yup, they are. Second, there's a new logo! Celebrating going back to school! YAY! And third, before you start complaining, I know it isn't up to par with my old ones, but it's not going to be on there forever so deal with it. And the actual "the JLOG" logo looks off because
Oh, make sure you vote in the nice little poll on the right there. Just make me feel important by putting it there, okay?
Oh, here's someone I want you to meet...
This is Charles the video camera.Yeah, I got the video camera I've been wanting for a really long time. I got some video plans, but I need to start a roundtable discussion or something and gather a couple friends to make sure we can make some quality videos TOTALLY on par with Smosh. (okay, maybe not... plus Smosh is pretty lame...)
Not only does it have a 30-gig built in harddrive and take 1080p HD video, it also takes pictures!
A picture straight from Charles just before that other picture was taken!
Not only does it have a 30-gig built in harddrive and take 1080p HD video, it also takes pictures!
A picture straight from Charles just before that other picture was taken!Pretty awesome, I know. With this new-found power, I can take video and pictures of random things for even MORE in-depth coverage of random food items, toys, or whatever. Me and Charles hang out a lot, so I'll probably be able to catch something weird if I'm out.
EDIT: Oh, I forgot... this is a video I took from my cousin's birthday this weekend. Here's the other cousin, Kyle, doing stuff. LOOK AT THAT HD WHOA
Click on the actual YouTube link to watch in HD because it looks way better. And in HD and stuff.
I just wanted to write that I'm still here and about recent news and all, but tomorrow I PROMISE I'll write a new something-something. I have this "item" right next to me, just so I won't forget.
Because I love you all so much.
...And sorry for the lack of wit in this post. COME BACK TOMORROW ALRIGHT BYE GUYS
Uh, oh yeah, sorry about the Summer Jamboree. I got bored. But times like these call to use a quote most-often said by the Oakland Raiders... hey, we'll get em next year!
EDIT: Oh, I forgot... this is a video I took from my cousin's birthday this weekend. Here's the other cousin, Kyle, doing stuff. LOOK AT THAT HD WHOA
Click on the actual YouTube link to watch in HD because it looks way better. And in HD and stuff.
I just wanted to write that I'm still here and about recent news and all, but tomorrow I PROMISE I'll write a new something-something. I have this "item" right next to me, just so I won't forget.
Because I love you all so much.
...And sorry for the lack of wit in this post. COME BACK TOMORROW ALRIGHT BYE GUYS
Uh, oh yeah, sorry about the Summer Jamboree. I got bored. But times like these call to use a quote most-often said by the Oakland Raiders... hey, we'll get em next year!
DuckTales... RAHH-VEWW-OOU (see what I did there?)
Well, men, we've made it.
First Jlog Summer Jamboree post GO!
...*cough* An'ways...
I want you to go back in time for a second. Remember a time when it was worth getting up Saturday mornings with your bowl of sugar-coated cereal and superhero pajamas? A time when the only good shows for your near-ADD brain were shown on weekends? A time when those shows were actually GOOD?
That time, my friends, was anytime before 2000. On specific topic, the 1980s. Yes, the 80s... the era of bright colors, large hair, and, of course, Madonna. But the 80s were known to not only delight small children with explicit songs - they also had great cartoons.
But perhaps the greatest of all was the Disney-produced DuckTales.
AHH-WOO-OOU
Yup, DuckTales. I know that the people reading this probably weren't alive during the original run (including me, but they still showed it afterward you know...), I'll give you a recap: Donald Duck leaves Huey, Dewey, and Louie to their rich jerkwad great uncle, Scrooge McDuck. Which doesn't make sense for the following reasons:
1) Where's the parenting here? "I have to leave my nephews with someone... let's just choose the guy who used to treat me like crap as a kid!"
2) Why is Scrooge still mean? Where's the continuity from Mickey's Christmas Carol?
3) This doesn't have to do with really anything but... why is everyone in Duckburg (other than Donald's family)... DOGS?
4) ...WTF is a "great uncle"??
But yeah. In a nutshell, Uncle Scrooge and the nephews have to fight bad guys and protect their fortune and find treasure and... well, it gets pretty random. But all that matters is how amazing that show was. I remembered this, having not seen the show in years, and decided why not just watch the pilot?
So... I did, of course.
After watching the intro, I remembered how beautiful that opening sequence is, you know. It's the first episode, nobody knows whats going on, but the ducks don't care. They'll adventure all they want!
That's what I used to love about 80s and 90s TV show intros. Nothing made sense to the average viewer. In DuckTales, the intro was so packed-full of action that once you finish, you may need to clean up after you spew all over the couch!*
*you won't really spew.
Here, we experience ADVENTURE LIKE NEVER BEFORE, including the ducks walking down some stairs, diving into some money, kissing sharks, and EVEN laughing. HOLY SMOKES! Of course, they also do some mummy awakening, robots playing hockey, and falling into lava pits, if you're into that sort of crap. Which I know you are personally not.
But enough of this. Into the actual episode.
We open with ol' Scrooge McDuck diving into his huge pit of gold. It shows him swimming threw it, jumping in and out, you know, the usual shmeel. But, I shout UNREALISTIC. You know why? Have you ever tried to swim through gold coins? It ain't easy. The coins are hard to push, you know. And when you dive into METAL coins, it kind of hurts. Plus, how do you breath??
Ugh.
Then Scrooge realizes he has to pick up his nephews. He gets on his evenin' clothes and takes a walk through the city, pimp-slapping whoever asks him for money as he walks by. (What, you thought he just HAD the money? ...I keed, I keed...)
So Donald Duck is there, hands over his kids, and says he's joining the Navy.
WAAAAAIT A MINUTE.
Since when did the government accept ducks into military positions?! These kind of things make me pissed to be an American. A duck has a higher and better job than me. A HUMAN.
Anywho, Scrooge is all like "BAAAH" and doesn't really care that he is a father now. He also makes the children walk THREE MILES to his house, although you see him take a cab to the dock where they meet. I don't think Scrooge really minds... his webbed feet have SOCKS ON. Do the kids? No. Child abuse. No, even worse.
ANIMAL-CHILD ABUSE.
Huey, Dewey, and Louie get there... but are issued the attic. Scrooge McDuck tells his butler to watch the kids while he's workinghis hoes at the candy factory.
They precede to be severely neglected, until days later the butler returns up to the attic to give them a letter from Donald.
He tells them about the Navy and things like that. Donald is a true American hero, you know. He single-handedly defeated Hitler during World War II, after all.
Later on, the runts sneak into Scrooge's job, ninja like.
Scrooge gets pissed.
In the above picture, Scrooge is getting ready to give a nice back-slappin' show the kids around the delightful candy factory!
Later, however, the nephews get into more trouble by finding one of Scrooge's antique boats. Scrooge yells some more. Nephews don't mean it. Yadda yadda yadda.
Then we meet the Beagle Boys. They're in jail, but the cops are stupid enough to allow them to get gifts. Which, of course were bombs. This Beagle Boy ate one, hence the beautiful picture I took. They escaped. No effort from cops to catch them, though. It's a cartoon.
The Beagle Boys had to find the mysterious El Capitan to find out why he sent them bombs. He told them to get Scrooge's ship. Gee, you think? Why else would they put importance on the ship earlier? Oh well, I guess I'm just observant. Or something.
So, here, we see a half naked Scrooge McDuck being washed by his butler. It wasn't long until I said it was gay. Scrooge also talks about how the nephews aren't that bad, and that he was going to make it up to them in the morning....
Also, somewhat disturbingly, Huey, Dewey, and Louie watched an old man bathe for a short period.
Duckburg is effin messed up.
The kids run away, only to find the Labrador Boys attempting to steal that boat thing. We learn there is a treasure map inside the boat! HOLY CRAP
The nephews save the day however, and the Chihuahua Club seem to escape RIGHT when Scrooge comes in the room, to see Huey and those other guys with rhyming names.
They get severely beaten.
But the next day, they went to the Austrailian Shepherd Gang's hideout and take the ship. Scrooge believes them and everythings nice and stuff YAY THE END
I know I didn't really explain the end. THAT'S ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW. They save the day and stuff, like every cartoon does. And hug.
Well, thanks for reading my professional review. I hope to be featured in my very own television broadcast someday. Yup.
Oh, almost forgot, I have a present for you.
Yup, the best theme song in the freaking world for you to feast your ears upon. Enjoy. Put it on your iTunes, whatever. I don't even care.
Also, if you look to your right (actually, scroll up and THEN look to your right), there's a poll sitting there. I want you to keep checking it and vote please. It just might cause WORLD HUNGER TO END. True fact, you know.
...ahhwoooou
First Jlog Summer Jamboree post GO!
...*cough* An'ways...
I want you to go back in time for a second. Remember a time when it was worth getting up Saturday mornings with your bowl of sugar-coated cereal and superhero pajamas? A time when the only good shows for your near-ADD brain were shown on weekends? A time when those shows were actually GOOD?
That time, my friends, was anytime before 2000. On specific topic, the 1980s. Yes, the 80s... the era of bright colors, large hair, and, of course, Madonna. But the 80s were known to not only delight small children with explicit songs - they also had great cartoons.
But perhaps the greatest of all was the Disney-produced DuckTales.
AHH-WOO-OOUYup, DuckTales. I know that the people reading this probably weren't alive during the original run (including me, but they still showed it afterward you know...), I'll give you a recap: Donald Duck leaves Huey, Dewey, and Louie to their rich jerkwad great uncle, Scrooge McDuck. Which doesn't make sense for the following reasons:
1) Where's the parenting here? "I have to leave my nephews with someone... let's just choose the guy who used to treat me like crap as a kid!"
2) Why is Scrooge still mean? Where's the continuity from Mickey's Christmas Carol?
3) This doesn't have to do with really anything but... why is everyone in Duckburg (other than Donald's family)... DOGS?
4) ...WTF is a "great uncle"??
But yeah. In a nutshell, Uncle Scrooge and the nephews have to fight bad guys and protect their fortune and find treasure and... well, it gets pretty random. But all that matters is how amazing that show was. I remembered this, having not seen the show in years, and decided why not just watch the pilot?
So... I did, of course.
After watching the intro, I remembered how beautiful that opening sequence is, you know. It's the first episode, nobody knows whats going on, but the ducks don't care. They'll adventure all they want!
That's what I used to love about 80s and 90s TV show intros. Nothing made sense to the average viewer. In DuckTales, the intro was so packed-full of action that once you finish, you may need to clean up after you spew all over the couch!*
*you won't really spew.
Here, we experience ADVENTURE LIKE NEVER BEFORE, including the ducks walking down some stairs, diving into some money, kissing sharks, and EVEN laughing. HOLY SMOKES! Of course, they also do some mummy awakening, robots playing hockey, and falling into lava pits, if you're into that sort of crap. Which I know you are personally not.
But enough of this. Into the actual episode.
We open with ol' Scrooge McDuck diving into his huge pit of gold. It shows him swimming threw it, jumping in and out, you know, the usual shmeel. But, I shout UNREALISTIC. You know why? Have you ever tried to swim through gold coins? It ain't easy. The coins are hard to push, you know. And when you dive into METAL coins, it kind of hurts. Plus, how do you breath??
Ugh.
Then Scrooge realizes he has to pick up his nephews. He gets on his evenin' clothes and takes a walk through the city, pimp-slapping whoever asks him for money as he walks by. (What, you thought he just HAD the money? ...I keed, I keed...)
So Donald Duck is there, hands over his kids, and says he's joining the Navy.
WAAAAAIT A MINUTE.
Since when did the government accept ducks into military positions?! These kind of things make me pissed to be an American. A duck has a higher and better job than me. A HUMAN.
Anywho, Scrooge is all like "BAAAH" and doesn't really care that he is a father now. He also makes the children walk THREE MILES to his house, although you see him take a cab to the dock where they meet. I don't think Scrooge really minds... his webbed feet have SOCKS ON. Do the kids? No. Child abuse. No, even worse.
ANIMAL-CHILD ABUSE.
Huey, Dewey, and Louie get there... but are issued the attic. Scrooge McDuck tells his butler to watch the kids while he's working
They precede to be severely neglected, until days later the butler returns up to the attic to give them a letter from Donald.
He tells them about the Navy and things like that. Donald is a true American hero, you know. He single-handedly defeated Hitler during World War II, after all.
Later on, the runts sneak into Scrooge's job, ninja like.
Scrooge gets pissed.
In the above picture, Scrooge is getting ready to
Later, however, the nephews get into more trouble by finding one of Scrooge's antique boats. Scrooge yells some more. Nephews don't mean it. Yadda yadda yadda.
Then we meet the Beagle Boys. They're in jail, but the cops are stupid enough to allow them to get gifts. Which, of course were bombs. This Beagle Boy ate one, hence the beautiful picture I took. They escaped. No effort from cops to catch them, though. It's a cartoon.
The Beagle Boys had to find the mysterious El Capitan to find out why he sent them bombs. He told them to get Scrooge's ship. Gee, you think? Why else would they put importance on the ship earlier? Oh well, I guess I'm just observant. Or something.
So, here, we see a half naked Scrooge McDuck being washed by his butler. It wasn't long until I said it was gay. Scrooge also talks about how the nephews aren't that bad, and that he was going to make it up to them in the morning....
Also, somewhat disturbingly, Huey, Dewey, and Louie watched an old man bathe for a short period.
Duckburg is effin messed up.
The kids run away, only to find the Labrador Boys attempting to steal that boat thing. We learn there is a treasure map inside the boat! HOLY CRAP
The nephews save the day however, and the Chihuahua Club seem to escape RIGHT when Scrooge comes in the room, to see Huey and those other guys with rhyming names.
They get severely beaten.
But the next day, they went to the Austrailian Shepherd Gang's hideout and take the ship. Scrooge believes them and everythings nice and stuff YAY THE END
I know I didn't really explain the end. THAT'S ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW. They save the day and stuff, like every cartoon does. And hug.
Well, thanks for reading my professional review. I hope to be featured in my very own television broadcast someday. Yup.
Oh, almost forgot, I have a present for you.
Yup, the best theme song in the freaking world for you to feast your ears upon. Enjoy. Put it on your iTunes, whatever. I don't even care.
Also, if you look to your right (actually, scroll up and THEN look to your right), there's a poll sitting there. I want you to keep checking it and vote please. It just might cause WORLD HUNGER TO END. True fact, you know.
...ahhwoooou
............>=(
Uhhhhh, just kidding.
So, umm, BLOGGER DELETED HALF OF MY BLOG POST FOR NO REASON.
It was all there... and then I scroll up to the top and BAM.
Baleted.
I have the other half in the drafts, so don't worry, it's not a total failure. I'll just finish it all tomorrow because I'm dead tired and have been working for three hours.
Don't worry, I'll give you yesterday's and today's later. So yeah, sorry and stuff....
Anticlimatic jamboree opening, I know...
So, in the comments, I want you to tell me about the saddest day of your life so I don't feel so bad. K?
...=(
So, umm, BLOGGER DELETED HALF OF MY BLOG POST FOR NO REASON.
It was all there... and then I scroll up to the top and BAM.
Baleted.
I have the other half in the drafts, so don't worry, it's not a total failure. I'll just finish it all tomorrow because I'm dead tired and have been working for three hours.
Don't worry, I'll give you yesterday's and today's later. So yeah, sorry and stuff....
Anticlimatic jamboree opening, I know...
So, in the comments, I want you to tell me about the saddest day of your life so I don't feel so bad. K?
...=(
ATTENTION: The Jlog Summer Jamboree schedule!
Yup.
The Jlog Summer Jamboree.
INTENSE posts everyday from July 1st through August 3rd.
Maybe even longer.
Although, may not start July 1st because I might not be near a computer for a week.
=(
But yeah... and stuff.
The Jlog Summer Jamboree.
INTENSE posts everyday from July 1st through August 3rd.
Maybe even longer.
Although, may not start July 1st because I might not be near a computer for a week.
=(
But yeah... and stuff.
How to Plan an Urkel-Themed Party
Oh? Hey. I'm back. You see, I was waiting to write back with a post of why I was gone, but let's just pretend I wasn't gone because I want to write now. Mmkay? Mmkay.
So, as you may know, the 80s and 90s sitcom Family Matters is coming to Nick at Nite starting tonight. I'm psyched, because late night sitcoms are basically what MADE my summer last year (I watched EVERY SINGLE episode of The Fresh Prince last summer, from the pilot to the series finale - Nick at Nite plays them in order, so this is how I know). I couldn't go to sleep early because it was summer and that means I had to stay up. So now I have a new show to watch!
Wait, you've never heard of Family Matters? Well, you might remember one of the characters from the show...
No, this isn't a picture of Young Andrew...
So, as you may know, the 80s and 90s sitcom Family Matters is coming to Nick at Nite starting tonight. I'm psyched, because late night sitcoms are basically what MADE my summer last year (I watched EVERY SINGLE episode of The Fresh Prince last summer, from the pilot to the series finale - Nick at Nite plays them in order, so this is how I know). I couldn't go to sleep early because it was summer and that means I had to stay up. So now I have a new show to watch!
Wait, you've never heard of Family Matters? Well, you might remember one of the characters from the show...
No, this isn't a picture of Young Andrew...Yup, him. Steve Urkel. Played by Jaleel White (the guy who voiced Sonic the Hedgehog in the 90s), he was the annoying neighbor of the Wislow family. He originally wasn't penned as a main character, but due to fan outcry and whatnot, he ultimately took over the show. Family Matters went from a show about, well, family matters to Urkel's misadventures. It's safe to say Family Matters survived nearly 10 years because of the lamewad.
Overall, the show was good and got good ratings until it's last seasons. So, come 9:00 tonight, I celebrate by watching a marathon of family antics. But, how do you plan to do this as well?
That's why I'm here. To help plan your VERY OWN Urkel-themed party!
Step 1) Invite people! Send Invites!
You've got to let people know about you're awesome Family Matters marathon. But, you want to do it with class. Sending emails? Psssh. This is an OLD sitcom. You're sending traditional party invites.
The key is simplicity here, just to tell about the party and thats it. Draw a clever picture of Urkel saying his most well known catchphrase, and thats pretty much it. Soon, all the girls in the neighborhood will want to come. Just like the Vault thing. Just trust me, I have first-hand expierence with this stuff!
Step 2) Decorate your party-celebrating area!
Get the big screen TV out. If you don't own one, run to Best Buy AS FAST AS YOU CAN and buy one for optimal Nick at Nite viewing. Also, get a boombox to play some beats so you too can do the Urkel Dance, lay out Urkel's signature red glasses, and bring a table.
Don't forget to go to Kinkos and make a lifesize cardboard cut-out of Urkel himself. That will just add to the charm! Just make sure nobody wants to dance with him after too much liquor of the night, because you know how people get at these crazy Family Matters parties.
Step 3) Make Urkel-themed cookies!
I ARE GOOD PHOTOSHOEPER
And there you go! You should ready to go party and stuff. The festivites start at 9:00 PM on Nickelodeon and last to around 5:00 AM. Just remember to sign up a designated driver if you're planning on have a couple Cold Ones.
Have fun and uhhh... leave me comments on how your party worked out for you. Yeah.
ALSO!
ALSO!
ALSO!
I have an announcement to make. No, I'm not getting married, but I'm pleased to announce that throughout July, I'll be throwing the... get ready for it... I hope you're sitting down... its a catchy name I totally just not think of...
THE JLOG JAMBOREE! :D
Every day in July (that i'm capable of doing, somedays I just won't be near a computer), you, the viewer, will get a FULL BLOWN article. Not only a "THIS IS WUT I DID TODAYZ", no! It will be about something NEW everyday, whether it be a review, an adventure, badly drawn stick figures, or something crazy I think of. Maybe a rant or two. It'll be special, don't worry!
Okay, make sure you GET READY.
...Even if it starts late because I won't be able to write at the beginning of July anyways. Sorry =D
PS: I'm not that bad of a photoshopper. geez. it was a joke.
Overall, the show was good and got good ratings until it's last seasons. So, come 9:00 tonight, I celebrate by watching a marathon of family antics. But, how do you plan to do this as well?
That's why I'm here. To help plan your VERY OWN Urkel-themed party!
Step 1) Invite people! Send Invites!
You've got to let people know about you're awesome Family Matters marathon. But, you want to do it with class. Sending emails? Psssh. This is an OLD sitcom. You're sending traditional party invites.
The key is simplicity here, just to tell about the party and thats it. Draw a clever picture of Urkel saying his most well known catchphrase, and thats pretty much it. Soon, all the girls in the neighborhood will want to come. Just like the Vault thing. Just trust me, I have first-hand expierence with this stuff!
Step 2) Decorate your party-celebrating area!
Get the big screen TV out. If you don't own one, run to Best Buy AS FAST AS YOU CAN and buy one for optimal Nick at Nite viewing. Also, get a boombox to play some beats so you too can do the Urkel Dance, lay out Urkel's signature red glasses, and bring a table.
Don't forget to go to Kinkos and make a lifesize cardboard cut-out of Urkel himself. That will just add to the charm! Just make sure nobody wants to dance with him after too much liquor of the night, because you know how people get at these crazy Family Matters parties.
Step 3) Make Urkel-themed cookies!
I ARE GOOD PHOTOSHOEPERMake sure you bake some cookies with Urkel's face on them. Go to Vons, buy some frosting tubes, sprinkles, I don't know. Be creative! You can do it. But Urkel loves cookies.
DON'T LET HIM DOWN.
DON'T LET HIM DOWN.
And there you go! You should ready to go party and stuff. The festivites start at 9:00 PM on Nickelodeon and last to around 5:00 AM. Just remember to sign up a designated driver if you're planning on have a couple Cold Ones.
Have fun and uhhh... leave me comments on how your party worked out for you. Yeah.
ALSO!
ALSO!
ALSO!
I have an announcement to make. No, I'm not getting married, but I'm pleased to announce that throughout July, I'll be throwing the... get ready for it... I hope you're sitting down... its a catchy name I totally just not think of...
THE JLOG JAMBOREE! :D
Every day in July (that i'm capable of doing, somedays I just won't be near a computer), you, the viewer, will get a FULL BLOWN article. Not only a "THIS IS WUT I DID TODAYZ", no! It will be about something NEW everyday, whether it be a review, an adventure, badly drawn stick figures, or something crazy I think of. Maybe a rant or two. It'll be special, don't worry!
Okay, make sure you GET READY.
...Even if it starts late because I won't be able to write at the beginning of July anyways. Sorry =D
PS: I'm not that bad of a photoshopper. geez. it was a joke.
I NEED HELP
THE REASON I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO POST IS BECAUSE I'M BEING HELD HOSTAGE BY A FAMILY OF ROBOT BEARS!!!!!
AND THEY LOCKED ME IN THEIR COMPUTER ROOM BECAUSE THEY'RE STUPID AND WENT OUT TO EAT SOME PORRIDGE & OIL. THEIR CAPS LOCK BUTTON IS BROKE.
PLEASE HELP
GO BACK IN TIME AND STOP ME FROM PRESSING THAT BUTTON
I'VE ONLY TRIED GOING BACK IN TIME ONCE BEFORE
SAFETY NOT GUARANTEED
AND THEY LOCKED ME IN THEIR COMPUTER ROOM BECAUSE THEY'RE STUPID AND WENT OUT TO EAT SOME PORRIDGE & OIL. THEIR CAPS LOCK BUTTON IS BROKE.
PLEASE HELP
GO BACK IN TIME AND STOP ME FROM PRESSING THAT BUTTON
I'VE ONLY TRIED GOING BACK IN TIME ONCE BEFORE
SAFETY NOT GUARANTEED
Grrr.
I'm really sorry... but I'm not going to be able to write again.
I'm sick.
And exhausted from camp.
I think i'll go to bed now if I want to have a chance of going tomorrow.
...sorry.
I'm sick.
And exhausted from camp.
I think i'll go to bed now if I want to have a chance of going tomorrow.
...sorry.
SCHOOOOOOOOOOLS OUUUUUT
foh evaaa
So I'm out of school for like 3 months or whatever. I start camp next week and still have to get up at around the same time if not earlier, but I guess its worth it seeing as I'll be going to the beach, some theme park, and Skating Plus every week. So I'm happy.
Also, I was supposed to get it yesterday, but just today I got my first White Gummy Bear. So how is it?
FREAKING GOOD. Me and one of my friends were just about to go see the new Hulk that didn't suck this time when we decided to just go ahead and try it now. We walked in, ordered one, and took a drink. I just stood there for a second; it was that good. I can safely say that the White Gummy Bear is not only the best smoothie at Jamba Juice, but tastes EXACTLY like a white gummy bear. EXACTLY. I don't know what they used, or how exactly white gummy bears are supposed to taste, but just trust me when I say its delicious.
Anyways, school was finished today. I'm no longer a freshman. Yesss! But, at the same time it kind of sucked because I didn't get to say goodbye to that many people today. But I forgot about it because afterwards we saw The Incredible Hulk, with along with Kung-Fu Panda and Don't Mess With the Zohan, I still need to write a stickreview to! I think I'm going to patent that word. "Stickreview".
In other news, I got the new Weezer yesterday after waiting too, too long. How is it? Well, you're going to have to wait for my review suckaaaaaaaaas.
I'm going to La Mirada this weekend, so it will be another Saturday without a blog post. Sorry.
I also think there hasn't been too many pictures in this post compared to others. Hold on... let me find some random one.-
WHOA.
I had a really trippy moment right now. I was listening to one of the song's from The Red Album (the new Weezer I just talked about, remember?) while I was trying to find a picture. I was just clicking the stumbleupon button to maybe find a random website, when this site came up with the top saying this:
All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players.
Whoooooooa.
I don't even think I need a picture anymore. I think trippy moments even out a less than colorful post.
...ITS SUMMER YESSSSSSS.
So I'm out of school for like 3 months or whatever. I start camp next week and still have to get up at around the same time if not earlier, but I guess its worth it seeing as I'll be going to the beach, some theme park, and Skating Plus every week. So I'm happy.
Also, I was supposed to get it yesterday, but just today I got my first White Gummy Bear. So how is it?
FREAKING GOOD. Me and one of my friends were just about to go see the new Hulk that didn't suck this time when we decided to just go ahead and try it now. We walked in, ordered one, and took a drink. I just stood there for a second; it was that good. I can safely say that the White Gummy Bear is not only the best smoothie at Jamba Juice, but tastes EXACTLY like a white gummy bear. EXACTLY. I don't know what they used, or how exactly white gummy bears are supposed to taste, but just trust me when I say its delicious.
Anyways, school was finished today. I'm no longer a freshman. Yesss! But, at the same time it kind of sucked because I didn't get to say goodbye to that many people today. But I forgot about it because afterwards we saw The Incredible Hulk, with along with Kung-Fu Panda and Don't Mess With the Zohan, I still need to write a stickreview to! I think I'm going to patent that word. "Stickreview".
In other news, I got the new Weezer yesterday after waiting too, too long. How is it? Well, you're going to have to wait for my review suckaaaaaaaaas.
I'm going to La Mirada this weekend, so it will be another Saturday without a blog post. Sorry.
I also think there hasn't been too many pictures in this post compared to others. Hold on... let me find some random one.-
WHOA.
I had a really trippy moment right now. I was listening to one of the song's from The Red Album (the new Weezer I just talked about, remember?) while I was trying to find a picture. I was just clicking the stumbleupon button to maybe find a random website, when this site came up with the top saying this:
All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players.
-William Shakespeare
Whoooooooa.
I don't even think I need a picture anymore. I think trippy moments even out a less than colorful post.
...ITS SUMMER YESSSSSSS.
TEST TEST TEST WEE OOOU
TESTING TESTING 3 2 1
TEST
TEST
IS THIS THING ON
Okay... hows that for an annoying first post?!
Anyways... just wanted to start up a blog for the summer. Because other than my intense adventures and such, I get bored to the point where I sit at my Mac and watch the little apple logo at the bottom glow off the reflection of this cabinet in the other half of this room. Its true.
So if you really care I'll be updating this every single day (I'll try, anyway, unless i'm like away from a computer) and write about random bits even though summer hasn't technically started for me yet.
About what, you might ask? Maybe its something I did that day at the camp I'll probably work at. Maybe its what new flavor of ice cream they came up with at Dairy Queen. Maybe its about some old 80s show I wasn't even alive to see. Maybe its a review of a movie or a video game or a CD or Dairy Queens (i like ice cream =D).
Whever. I might write an entry tonight because I really didn't write anything today. Who knows?! I'm just that crazy!
...Um, okay, i'm leaving now...
TEST
TEST
IS THIS THING ON
Okay... hows that for an annoying first post?!
Anyways... just wanted to start up a blog for the summer. Because other than my intense adventures and such, I get bored to the point where I sit at my Mac and watch the little apple logo at the bottom glow off the reflection of this cabinet in the other half of this room. Its true.
So if you really care I'll be updating this every single day (I'll try, anyway, unless i'm like away from a computer) and write about random bits even though summer hasn't technically started for me yet.
About what, you might ask? Maybe its something I did that day at the camp I'll probably work at. Maybe its what new flavor of ice cream they came up with at Dairy Queen. Maybe its about some old 80s show I wasn't even alive to see. Maybe its a review of a movie or a video game or a CD or Dairy Queens (i like ice cream =D).
Whever. I might write an entry tonight because I really didn't write anything today. Who knows?! I'm just that crazy!
...Um, okay, i'm leaving now...