Sit Right There, I'll tell you all about how Will Smith became the BEST GUY EVER... of Bel-Air?

So, as you probably have heard, there's a new movie coming out staring everybody's favorite Fresh Prince, Will Smith. It's called Hancock (You! In the back! Stop giggling!), and it's about some superhero who the public generally dislikes. I personally will always have a place in my heart for a superhero who's usually drunk, throws kids just for fun, and raps about moving to Bel-Air. Anyways, its safe to say Will Smith is one of my favorite actors of all time.

But, I bet you didn't even know how Will even got to where he is today, did you? That's a no.

Well. Looks like I'll have to show you how great Will Smith is and how great Will Smith's life is. Not only because of the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, no! Everything else is just AWESOME.

I'll try not to make as many Fresh Prince references as possible. Here goes...



Will Smith, His Royal Freshness, was born around 7 or 8 when he yelled to the womb "yo holmes smell ya later!". He was pronounced Prince right on the spot, along with his abnormally large ears.

West Philadelphia was where he was born and raised. Some say on the playground is where Will spent most of his days. You know, chilling out, maxing, and of course, relaxin' all cool. Him and his friend Jazzy Jeff would play some basketball outside the school, eatin' barbeque and putting those whiteys to shame in b-ball.

Well, you see, those whiteys mentioned earlier were ROBOT BEARS IN DISGUISE. They beat up Jazz and Willie. The kids came home BAWing, when The Prince's mom got scared. Those Robot Bears mean business, you know! She told him that he's moving with his auntie and uncle in Bel-Air, as California is a Robot Bear free zone.

Will cried, but snuck Jazz in his briefcase, so it ALL good!

When the Fresh Prince and Jazz got into Bel-Air, they realized how pissed off their parents made them. How could they send them all the way over here? Will had heard things about them boozing wine and all that. Is this REALLY the type of place where they could send this cool cat?! Jazz, being observant, saw a nearby recording studio. This could be their big break! He told Will this, and he added how he now didn't think so, he'll see when he gets there, to sit on his throne as the new Prince of Bel-Air!

You see, Will was the rapper, and Jazz was the DJ. So, being clever, they released a CD called He's the DJ, I'm the Rapper. They also made songs, apparently. One was about how parents don't understand them although they're grown men, one was about how women aren't nothing but trouble although Will and Jazz aren't gay, and one about fighting Mike Tyson. Somebody's been playing a little too much Punch-Out!!

With their clever lyrics (So kids all across the land... parents just don't understand!), they became SUPAHSTARS. People loved them!

But then... IT HAPPENED.

One of the whiteys followed Will and Jazz... and he ATE JAZZ.

HE EFFIN ATE JAZZ!

Will became clinically depressed.

The only thing he could do to ease all the pain was destroy alien scum while dressed in black. Everything pretty much just went down hill from there.

I drew this, shut up

Poor Fresh Prince. All he ever loved... had passed him by. But! Hope was not lost!

One day he MAGICALLY GOT SUPERPOWERS. He could fly! He was momentarily happy...

...that is, until he flew into an apartment complex and ran into a baby at 66mph. The baby sadly didn't make it.

So... these were Will's dark hours. He turned to drinking. HEAVY alcohol.

This went on for about 5 years... until one day, he was sitting on top of a building.

He was drinking, as usual. But in the distance, Will Smith saw a cab. It was coming near! The license plate said Fresh and there were di-

BOOM.
The taxi cab that The Prince saw was REALLY coming near him. And it sadly smashed our brave hero. If he wasn't looking so closely into the contents of the cab, he might still be here today....

The "Fresh" Prince has officially become "Spoiled".

But his legacy lives on, all through us. In our souls, we all hold a piece of Will Smith's heart.

Also, through the 90s, a sitcom based on his personality and how he wanted to live his life was made. It was titled the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. The theme song contains hidden lyrics that chronicle his certain death, as you can tell.

And the upcoming movie Hancock? That film really chronichles the last few weeks on Earth featuring Will Smith.

...

OKAY, SO THIS IS ALL MADE UP. Sheesh, you can't come to my blog ALWAYS finding true facts, you know. Sheesh. Go to wikipedia if you want to read Will's life story...

Well kids, I won't be able to write for the next few days as I won't be near a computer.

Don't BAWWWWW! I'll be back before you know it.

Have a happy Fourth of July, everyone. Honor our country's birthday, eat cookies, and all that.

...UNCLE PHIL WAS NOT MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE. THAT'S MESSED UP, YO.

SCHOOOOOOOOOOLS OUUUUUT

foh evaaa

So I'm out of school for like 3 months or whatever. I start camp next week and still have to get up at around the same time if not earlier, but I guess its worth it seeing as I'll be going to the beach, some theme park, and Skating Plus every week. So I'm happy.

Also, I was supposed to get it yesterday, but just today I got my first White Gummy Bear. So how is it?

FREAKING GOOD. Me and one of my friends were just about to go see the new Hulk that didn't suck this time when we decided to just go ahead and try it now. We walked in, ordered one, and took a drink. I just stood there for a second; it was that good. I can safely say that the White Gummy Bear is not only the best smoothie at Jamba Juice, but tastes EXACTLY like a white gummy bear. EXACTLY. I don't know what they used, or how exactly white gummy bears are supposed to taste, but just trust me when I say its delicious.

Anyways, school was finished today. I'm no longer a freshman. Yesss! But, at the same time it kind of sucked because I didn't get to say goodbye to that many people today. But I forgot about it because afterwards we saw The Incredible Hulk, with along with Kung-Fu Panda and Don't Mess With the Zohan, I still need to write a stickreview to! I think I'm going to patent that word. "Stickreview".

In other news, I got the new Weezer yesterday after waiting too, too long. How is it? Well, you're going to have to wait for my review suckaaaaaaaaas.

I'm going to La Mirada this weekend, so it will be another Saturday without a blog post. Sorry.

I also think there hasn't been too many pictures in this post compared to others. Hold on... let me find some random one.-

WHOA.

I had a really trippy moment right now. I was listening to one of the song's from The Red Album (the new Weezer I just talked about, remember?) while I was trying to find a picture. I was just clicking the stumbleupon button to maybe find a random website, when this site came up with the top saying this:


All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players.

-William Shakespeare

...and right as I started reading that, the EXACT same line gets mentioned in the song.

Whoooooooa.

I don't even think I need a picture anymore. I think trippy moments even out a less than colorful post.

...ITS SUMMER YESSSSSSS.

STICKREVIEW: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

*wutcha*

So I decided I'd make my first review on the new Indiana Jones. Why? Because it seems everybody (even communists) on the internet has to be hating. And even though its not the best movie, or Indy film for that matter, its still a crazy awesome mindless action movie.

WARNING: THERES GOING TO BE SPOILERS! SO IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE MOVIE YET... well, I can't really tell you what to do so never mind...

Okay, so it seems everyone is getting mad at Indy 4 for a couple (actually, a lot) of reasons. So... I'm going to go over all of them and show you what you should stop whining about, and while because of time I can't make it a real review, I'll also point out where they went wrong in a couple of things...

#1) "Surviving a nuclear explosion by going into a refrigerator? Aliens?! This movie is UNREALISTIC!!1"

So ghosts killing Nazis from a box, ripping out hearts and surviving, and falling without a broken bone from about 80 feet is real but a UFO and alien skeletons aren't...?

Seriously, if you really think about it, the WHOLE ENTIRE Indiana Jones series is unrealistic. Think about it. The Arc? GHOSTS. That one guy from Temple of Doom? HE PULLED OUT HEARTS. And how did Indy and his dad (who should have fragile bones from being old to begin with) survive falling from a crashing plane?! Theres a lot more if you watch closely. So even though aliens seem off subject from Indiana Jones (which I thought was somewhat interesting seeing as the movie took place in the 50s, during the era with the Roswell crash and all), its not like the movie ever had a thing for being "realistic".

#2) "They should've stopped using CGI and used more old effects! I mean SWINGING FROMVINES WTF DUDE??!"

The ants and the "Tarzan" scene were obvious CGI moments that you people whine about

I really don't think anyone gives enough credit to some of the scenes that they knew had CGI in. Lets start with the scene where a horde of ants carry that one guy into their ant hill. The scene, in my honest opinion, was very well thought out and it creeped out a lot of the audience. For most that don't complain about the CGI; it was a highlight they spoke about the next day. Really, if they hadn't used CGI, it would obviously look fake using pre-computer special effects in 2008 with horribley made robots and strings and stuff like that. Also, the Tarzan scene with Mutt swinging across the vines. It was a really short scene (maybe all together 6 seconds), and for some "it ruined the movie". Maybe they didn't get it right, and to you it looked fake (which didn't even look that bad). Does it really ruin the Indiana Jones series? Well, i'm sorry, but it was just a simple little scene that maybe didn't appeal to you. =,(

#3) Actually... there were times where the CGI was bad, but it didn't ruin the movie

In one shot of the jeep fight scene, although the Sun is coming from directly toward the camera's direction, you can see shadows coming off in TWO DIFFERENT WAYS... this is from bad Green Screening and having a light behind them while filming

The Green Screen scenes are the most noticeable ones (as explained above), but these small occurrences are probably only seen if you look hard enough. The jeep scene with the uneven shadows, for example, was only a couple seconds long while in the other shots they cover it up pretty well. But still, it wasn't like the film was a disaster from little screw ups here and there, as I bet they'll be out by the time Indy 4 is out on DVD. Also another example of why it was good that they used CGI in the movie: they could edit out shadows like this in the majority of the scenes, and for the stunts old Harrison Ford wouldn't break his spleen or whatever old people break nowadays.

...But I'll admit, those prarie dogs moved unrealisticly because they were 3D. But at least they looked decently real!
---------------------------------------------

Well, in a normal review I would probably write/draw more, but I think I made my point across... plus I didn't have as much time as I really needed. So, when the next review comes around, don't only expect more but I'll actually review the movie fully, and not just shut up people for saying Indiana Jones sucks.

...Also, two things that bugged me.
1) Indy used the whip like 3 times. 3 TIMES!!! Thats like his signature weapon and he neglected it. Shaaaaame.
2) ...I know hes probably an adult now but I miss Short Round. He was my favorite. =(

...But other than that I give Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Met-erm Skull...

3.9 out of 5 *wutcha* cracks!

...YOU CHEAT, YOU CHEAT, DR. JONES! I PLAY WITH YOU NO MORE!