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Top 5 Reasons Why I like Rock Band.




For me, today pretty much sucked. I had seriously nothing to do. I tried everything. Sleeping, going on MySpace, watching a movie about a very impregnated dog, and even trying to figure out why Stephen Colbert was in an episode of Law & Order. So I've kinda been in a bad mood for a while now.

Thats when I realized why I should be doing something that wou
ld keep things all unicorns and fairies in my mind. So I broke out the Xbox and played my favorite game of the last couple months...


Rock Band is probably to me like the neighborhood bully's mom is to hard alcohol. I think its probably the best thing ever, gets me in a happier mood, and can't go a few days without a session of pressing the little colored frets. I dunno, but I think its a lot better than Guitar Hero is or will ever be. They saw this, and thats why whoever makes Guitar Hero is coming out with the new "I Can Be in A Band Game, Too!" version.

But besides me speaking through some uber geek tongue, what makes Rock Band THE BEST EVER?! Well kids, its time for.......

TOP 5 REASONS WHY I LIKE ROCK BAND!

#5) People Can Play Too Without Watching You Try to Be Cool With a Plastic Guitar
You'll look just as lame when you play it, promise!

Put yourself in this position: Its the Fourth of July. Everybody is coming over to your house. But for some reason you want to be an outcast and play video games. You're out in the living room when Aunty Sally and Uncle Bob come in the room with your cousin Jimmy. Aunty Sally gives you a kiss and asks you how school is going. You say "fine" as you're trying to get that 5 Star rating on Mississippi Queen. Uncle Bob gets mad at you for playing with your new device, and how back in his day they had Pong. Jimmy is whining because you won't let him play. Just then your mom walks in and tells you to get off the couch. NOW YOU HAVE TO DO FAMILY STUFF.

Thats when you realize you have Rock Band! So, you gladly invite Jimmy to play the bass guitar, Uncle Bob to hit stuff with the drums, and your Aunty to sing some sweet jams. Now you can play Xbox without having to go through everyone telling you how tall you're getting.

#4) You Can Create Your Own Wannabe Emo Kid

Look at that kid in the right corner. LOL EMO

Your life sucks. People hate you. You wonder why things as great as roses have thorns. You are very deep within your emotions. You write poetry. You tell people you're going to kill yourself for attention. You want to be emo.

But the moment you color your fingernails black and wear skin tight black jeans, Mom tells you to stop acting stupid and start wearing colors again. And you don't want to give in to her threats that she'll tell your father. So you curse under your breath and walk away.

So what do you do? You buy Rock Band and just MAKE an emo kid to play as! You can even add eyeliner to guys. Now you can express your emotion through plastic instruments.

#3) Downloading SongsNo witty remark here. You can actually download this Judas Priest album!

As much as you love "When You Were Loved", you and I both know the songs get boring to play after a while. So what are you going to do? You're going to download new songs, thats what you're going to do. $2 each. ITS AWESOME.

...I tried to think of something funny to put here. I couldn't think of anything. Sorry... I'll do better next time =,(


#2) DRUMS DRUMS DRUMS
BOOM BOOM BOOM

The drums make this game like 60% more fun. When your fingers develop arthritis from playing a guitar (a plastic guitar at that... major lol's from your grandkids one day, amirite?), just switch over to the drums... and develop arthritis IN YOUR ARMS (is that even possible? Actually. Don't tell me. I don't like being incorrect). But look at it this way... you'll get muscles. Which you probably don't have anyway if you're playing the Xbox all the time. Hah! See what I did there?

...But seriously, the drums in Rock Band are awesome.

BUT WHATS EVEN MORE AWESOME?

WHATS NUMBER 1?

THE MOMENT YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR.....

....

*plastic drum roll*.....


#1) FALL OUT BOY SONG IN ROCK BAND*
LOL YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LIKE OMG OMG OMG

FALL OUT BOY HOLY CRAP I LOVE THEM THEYRE LIKE THNX FOR MEMORIEEZ AMIRITE LOL!!!! THEYRE SO COOL I WANT TO GO TO THEYR CONCERTS AND BE COOL LOL I THINK IM GOING TO CUT MYSELF!!!1

AND THEYRE IN ROCK BAND?!?!?!?!?!?! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT! SORRY I KINDA SCREAMED RIGHT NOW LOL I PROLLY WOKE MY MOM UP BUT SHE PROLLY WONT CARE I MEAN IF SHE TELLS ME TO BE QUIET ILL SAY SHUT UP IM LISTENING TO FALL OUT BOY LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 I MEAN ITS NOT LIKE SHE ALREADY BOUGHT ME LIKE 5 TSHIRTS WITH THAT SINGERS HEAD ON THE FRONT OF THEM AND LIKE ALL MY FRIENDS ALREADY HAVE THEM TOO SO WERE ALL COOL BUT I THINK IM COOLER CUZ I BOUGHT AN AUTOGRAPHED BLADE ON EBAY FOR LIKE $300 AND NOW IM THE LIKE THE COOLEST KID IN 6TH GRADE!!!!!11 EVERY1 LOVES ME... WELL NOW IMMA GO TAKE A NEW PICTURE FOR MYSPACE, YOU KNOW WITH SOME HAIR OVER ONE OF MY EYES AND ILL LOOK ANGRY LIKE I DONT WANT THAT PICTURE TAKEN BUT I REALLY DO AND IF PEOPLE ASK ILL BE LIKE LOL YOU DONT KNOW WHAT EMO MEANS AMIRITE GUYZ??? AND MY BFFS WILL BE LIKE LOL YA!!!!!!!!!11





...So thats why I like Rock Band. I hope you enjoyed my review.


...Man, if only Hannah Montana was in this game.
*no, I don't really like Fall Out Boy stupid. Just in case you didn't know it was making fun of emo pre teens who think they're cool and use myspace and stu- you know what, if you didn't get that joke then maybe you should leave. Don't let the door hit you on your way out. Pssh.

1 comments:

Taylor. said...

Wow Josh. You really deserve cookies for this one. *claps* WAIT! OBJECTION! You forgot to mention Oasis! And I knew someone who liked Fall Out Boy like that...alright you keep on IMing me and it's annoying. It's making me think about not writing an uber nar-nar comment. Dang. It's flashing orange. Okay I made it stop. Also you are quite smart, you HAVE and Uncle Bob! So do I! ZOMG! Well I left a comment. Why do your other friends not leave comments? Lame-sauce. Well you need to advertise your blog more. Amirite?! Mmkay. Bye, buddy.