Pepsi Effed Up.

Note: There's not much funny in this post if at all. So no comedy hour, guise. There's nothing to be funny about in this post. So if you get bored, don't say I didn't warn you...

Alright, let me just spit this out right away - I don't like Pepsi that much. It's not surprising, but I just don't. Not only do I not usually drink the cola, but I don't get the sodas they make other than Pepsi either. That includes Mountain Dew, Sierra Mist, and whatever else they make. Its just, I don't know, everything Coke does is better.

I respect Pepsi and all their 13% intake of carb-containing beverages, and I'm glad they're around. There's a lot of people who prefer Pepsi to Coke too, so I like to think of it as peaceful competition. So let me begin with a question: WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY THINKING.

"Wow, Josh," you're saying. "Just freaking calm down."

Okay. Look at this.

A Pepsi bottle, right? Seemingly ordinary, right?

Well, soak it in, as you won't be seeing it any longer.

Enter the replacement...


"Wow Josh," You say. "It's just a Pepsi bottle. Why are you so upset? I thought you didn't really like Pepsi."

I hate this redesign. Hate it hate it hate it. Bleh. They're also doing it to the Pepsi Max bottles. Here's why it shouldn't have happened:

1) The bottle/can didn't need to be changed. Apparently they've never heard of 'if it ain't broke, don't fix it'. You've probably seen how Pepsi just semi-redesigned their packaging anyways, by letting artists slap paint over cans and Pepsi will sell them. I thought they looked pretty awesome (minus the one with the keyboard smilies)... why couldn't they just leave it?!

2) It looks way too plain. Yes, I realize that nowadays everybody seems to be following the Apple formula, but I just can't see how it can be much of an eyecatch. I mean, Pepsi is already established as the "blue" soda on the market, but that's all it has now - a color. The only example of that really working is from Coke, but seeing as Coke is the most recognizable brand name in the United States, they don't have much of a problem. (I really did read that somewhere, but I can't find it anymore) Speaking of looking plain...

3) The design looks like something on a cheap store brand soda. It's so cheap that it looks really similar to those sodas you find at Vons. But even then, the store brands look more eyecatching than the new Pepsi bottles.

4) The Pepsi font looks almost as ugly as Comic Sans. Oy. Really Pepsi? The bottle wouldn't look half as bad as it does now if you flipped the word correctly and used a non-outdated font. Looking at this makes me think they gave some 13 year old kid a trial version of Photoshop Elements and without looking at it slapped it on a plastic bottle.

What's good out of this though? They have a new design to their classic American logo. I guess its a little easier on the eyes than the older one.

Apparently, they changed it to make it look like a "smile"

"But Josh!" You continue to plea. "I don't even LIKE Pepsi. At all. I do my best not to even look at it. All I drink is Mountain Dew, dangit!"

Then it looks like I have bad news for you too, kid.

This is what happens when our corporate overlords try to be "hip"...

You see correctly. No longer shall it be called Mountain Dew... its now MtnDew.


At least they didn't go all Pepsi on this one, and they made a nice looking background (looks like some things are still sacred down at Pepsi!). But still. Really?? MtnDew?! I mean, its better than /|\0 |_| |\| + @ |\| |)#\|/, but I still don't see a good reason for a NAME CHANGE.

Will the mad butchering ever stop?? Can't we just leave good things to their own good ways? Pepsi says no yet again...

...Actually the new Sierra Mist can looks passable. But its still kind of plain and ugly, just not as much as the Pepsi ones.

Whatever. Sprite's better.

So, uh, yeah. If you're smart like me, you'll start stocking up on the current Pepsi, Mountain Dew and Sierra Mist cans to have a memory of when Pepsi still had their minds on Earth. They'll be long gone by either December or January depending on what state you're in.

I don't know why these kinds of things make me feel like tripping everyone in the company down the stares, but I guess that's what makes me awesome. Or... something. Oh well. I'm fine with it, as long as I can be in the next big Cola riot.


Kelsey said...

Eww! Ew! Ew! Ew!
What the heck was pepsi thinking?

-mourns old soda covers-
They shall be greatly missed.