Halloween 08: Grow Your Own Goblin.

You see them every year around the holidays. They're always in grocery store aisles next to the cheap toys. You even see them in those 50 cent machines at Best Buy. They're those 'Grow Your Own...' things. I would call them toys, but seriously, what much else can you do with them other than but them in a bowl and watch them get big?

Well, I could blog about it, that's what.

So yeah. This is my Grow Your Own Goblin. And just for fun and chuckles, I'll be updating with a picture of how much he grows every day that I can. Why? Because EVERY Halloween celebrating website needs a Grow Your Own Goblin somewhere on it. The world would very much be a better place, trust me.

Look at the little guy. He looks kind of dead. Actually, more of a zombie with an afro if you look hard enough. That's why I call him Zombie Bernie Mac! His skin color seems orange, but FALSE, hes really just dirty from sitting underground for a while. No biggie.

But... surprise PLOT TWIST, right when you didn't expect it! Forget Heroes. Lost SUCKS. Zombie Bernie Mac has a little trick up his sleeve, you see.

Zombie Bernie Mac is going somewhere where no Bernie Mac has GONE BEFORE.

He will be growing in a bowl of water, right? Hahaha- WRONG.

That's right, kids! Zombie Bernie Mac will be attempting to grow in the rhyming-ly DEADLY bottle of Jack Black! Yup, Jack Black. No, I didn't name it.

And - WHOA - he's getting ready to jump!

Uh oh - it looks like he's having second thoughts JUST before going off the high dive into Jack Black.


Remember, Zombie Bernie Mac has a lot to live for if he somehow misses the target. He has his own show, The Zombie Mac Show, and the upcoming Ocean's Fourteen, which is still being made after Mr. Mac's death, although its reported to be renamed Ocean's Fourteen Minus 1.

Wait-

He jumped... but... erm... he's stuck.

*cough* So, uhh, all was going well until this happened.

...

But don't worry! With my 99% muscle tone, I could easily beat him in. Which is what I did.

And thus, Zombie Bernie Mac begins his journey to grow "600% TIMES HIS ORIGINAL SIZE". Check back almost every day to see an updated picture and to see if - hopefully! - he gets so huge he either breaks the bottle or morphs into the shape of a bottle.

What, you thought I plunged him into Jack Black just for looks?


...No, I am NOT an alcoholic.

RIP BERNIE MAC YOU WILL BE MISSED