Hey, brahs! How ya doin' man? Its been a while man, life's so rad. This blog's my favorite, man, don'tchu love it. You want a blog post? Oh man, I'm so glad we're all back together and stuff, this is great man.
To answer the only question most of you fans are asking (and by saying 'fans' I mean myself and some creepy old guy who seems to be subscribed to this website)... I HAVE RETURNED!
I'd like to keep this short. And I'll try, but no guarantees. Okay? Okay. I'll organize my ramblings into an easy-to-read (or maybe not even at all) list for your convenience!
1) Sum-herr So, like, remember that one time where I was all like, "HEY ITS SUMMER IMMA MAKE A POST EVERDAY LOL"? Well, that never worked out. And I got really freaking tired of it. And that kind of led to me not posting anything at all for a month. Yeah, well, I'm not promising anything this time around. Actually, you know what? I will. Its the first day of summer for myself, and I'm not going to make a delightful post everyday. Neither will I make those random posts about "feelings" because this is a MANLY BLOG and we don't regurgitate our "Oh man why does the world hate me noone understands me sob sob queque" Tumblr sheeeeeit here.
But you know what I WILL promise? I promise to put up crap whenever I feel like it. If I have something to say, that I think you nice people will enjoy reading, such as topics revolving around poop-flavored popsicles or how Koffings powered the gas chambers at Auschwitz, I will. Okay, maybe that last one was a bad idea. But if you've read ANYTHING at all on this website, you know what I like to write about.
I seriously haven't posted anything here in about a year, and I've got a couple ideas. You'll just have to see if I stick to continuously doing anything other than eating stale Cheetos and watching Family Matters this summer.
2) Steve Jobs = :( Technology has decided its on strike with me as of late. Two months ago, my beloved iPhone decided to go into a coma. Not long after, my Mac's harddrive blew up. "But Josh," you may ask yourself. "I really don't give a rat's ass about your crap." Well, first of all you totally should, and second, it means I've lost everything that I've illegally downloaded over the years! Music, old pictures, videos I had made... but most importantly, Photoshop.
Now that I'm resurrecting the Jlog, its kind of an essential tool to have. Seriously. I'm sure you can look at the main page and find at least a bajillion pictures I've vomited up with Photoshop. Or, you know, just look at the blog's background and everything and realize EVERYTHING was made in Photoshop.
So, sadly, until I figure out a solution, blog posts may lack my patented artistic skill. You'll just have to live for now.
But that leads to my next problem nobody cares about...
3) Redesign I'm planning on polishing what everything looks like here around the site, but obviously I'll need a program do that. And I mean, I've probably only used the current style for, like, what, 5 posts sometime last year? Maybe a little Swiffering and you shouldn't care.
Also, as you can see, I finally removed the 4th of July stuff. You might just think that I left it there for a year because of forgetfulness, but that's the not the reasoning at all! I was promoting patriotism, and, uh, democracy all year round. It stood for freedom and sacrifice and high-glucose foods.
And then I saw THIS.
So, just changed the blog back to the original flavor. I think you'll find it... tasty.
So yeah, that's all. Maybe I'll write something meaty tomorrow. Maybe not. Maybe I'll forget about doing anything until August 2011. Its a surprise!
...I guess this wasn't very short. Sowwy.